Notice how my posts are getting further apart? Frustrating that I can't keep to a simple schedule.
All the days from last week seem to have run together. It's a blur of books, cooking/baking, andValentine's day projects, sprinkled with exercise, sleep, park day, and girl scouts. This week is just as booked. Oh and it's been raining for days, so I'm constantly nursing a sinus headache. I'll be happy to see the sun again.
This post looks so little. I truly think I spent 4-5 hours a day in the kitchen this week trying out some new vegan meals, and baking breads and cookies. Hopefully I'll be able to settle down into some kind of manageable meal plan because I can't keep up the cooking.
We also found several nifty things on the Interwebs to occupy us for a little while each day. Nothing stands out right now though.
So that was our week.
Books
Robotson and I finished Little Town on the Prairie and have moved on to Darth Paper Strikes Back.
Funny Girl and I are still reading Coraline. The book club meeting for this month was cancelled because of a Girl Scout event, but that gives us some more time to read. Plus the girls are really into GS right now.
Dimples and I got into limericks and were reading Limericks by Lear and Grimericks.
Other books we've been reading this week are not really worth mentioning, more Berenstein Bears and a couple of early readers. We are about halfway through Odd and the Frost Giants.
January 23, 2012
January 16, 2012
The King Center
Last Thursday we took a field trip to The King Center in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. day. It was a beautiful, crisp day and the kids were all excited to learn more about Dr. King. Dimples was truly fascinated by the story of his life and death. She wanted to see pictures of everything: his children, him being arrested for nonviolent protest, and his death. Having never been there before, I wasn't sure what to expect. Turns out the King Center is very well laid out over a block or two with many different things to see from his birth home and Ebenezer Church, to an interactive museum, and a walk-through history of the civil rights movement. As usual I took pictures so I'll leave you to visually walk you through our field trip. You'll see that Dimples got to see everything she wanted and more!
The museum had an interactive part where you could listen, watch, or read some of Dr. King's speeches. Dimples beelined for the beautiful iMac displays. She and Robotson understood how to use them better than the staff! Next to the computers were sheets of paper where you could write down your own dream. Then you had it photographed and posted to their wall of dreams. Robotson's dream was to become a famous DJ so he could remix Dr. King's speeches with music that people would want to listen to. Many of the kids filled out dreams, but I missed them.
Upstairs at the museum there were rooms dedicated to Rosa Parks, Mr. and Mrs. King, and Gandhi.
Next we went to sit in Ebenezer Baptist Church. The church is no longer used, but they have sermons by Dr. King playing so that you can sit and imagine what it might have been like to be there at the time. I loved both of these pictures and couldn't decide which to use, so you get to seem them both.
Our last stop was a walk-through history of the civil right movement featuring Dr. King's work.
We had lunch in front of a beautiful mural before heading back to the car. There was still plenty to look and talk about as we went.
I have to say this was an excellent start to the new year. Everyone at The King Center was friendly and helpful. The kids each got a beautiful magnifying glass as a souvenir and Robotson got a complimentary pencil and pin after looking longingly over the items in the gift shop several times. There were also some super funny quotations made by Dimples during the tour. One was after entering the Gandhi room and she says "Gandhi doesn't look so good." Another was when referring to Dr. King's death, she said "I'm sorry that the king died, but at least the queen lived."
Afterwards we met at a vegan bakery in town for a little treat before the long drive home. I highly recommend Dulce Vegan Bakery if you are ever in Atlanta. Super yum!!
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| We met at the reflecting pool where Dr. King and his wife are buried. |
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| The Eternal Flame |
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| Dimples listening to I Have a Dream. |
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| Photographing their dreams. |
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| A timeline of Mrs. King's life. |
Next we went to sit in Ebenezer Baptist Church. The church is no longer used, but they have sermons by Dr. King playing so that you can sit and imagine what it might have been like to be there at the time. I loved both of these pictures and couldn't decide which to use, so you get to seem them both.
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| Dimples was very moved by this display and his loss of freedom for fighting for a right that seems so obvious to her. |
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| This photos in this room are of the events leading up to, during, and after Dr. King's assassination. There were two photos from right after the shot. There was also a photo of the family around the open casket. These were of great interest to Dimples, not in a morbid way, but as if to convince her of the reality. |
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| The most powerful image, in my opinion. |
We had lunch in front of a beautiful mural before heading back to the car. There was still plenty to look and talk about as we went.
I have to say this was an excellent start to the new year. Everyone at The King Center was friendly and helpful. The kids each got a beautiful magnifying glass as a souvenir and Robotson got a complimentary pencil and pin after looking longingly over the items in the gift shop several times. There were also some super funny quotations made by Dimples during the tour. One was after entering the Gandhi room and she says "Gandhi doesn't look so good." Another was when referring to Dr. King's death, she said "I'm sorry that the king died, but at least the queen lived."
Afterwards we met at a vegan bakery in town for a little treat before the long drive home. I highly recommend Dulce Vegan Bakery if you are ever in Atlanta. Super yum!!
January 15, 2012
Homeschool Days 1/15/12
Ah, well this week did not go exactly as planned. I can never seem to figure out how to juggle all of my balls and something always falls to the wayside. In this case, I didn't manage my time for grocery shopping wisely and needed to catch up on that which basically lost me two days. As I've previously mentioned, it's difficult to plan meals (now vegan) that we will all eat, and I felt like I'd hit a wall. I did finally manage to pull some recipes together. I have to admit the food was yummy when we finally got around to eating said planned meals too. Unfortunately Tuesday and Wednesday were sort of messed up by our van breaking down. Well not the van really, it was just a sensor, but because it wasn't working properly the van would not move. So instead of going to the park on Tuesday we waiting around for AAA and B to rescue the girls and I from a nearby shopping center. Finally home from all of the excitement I was not inclined to do anything other than exercise and curl up with a book. Wednesday we had to take the van to the Kia dealership to fix the sensor. Another all day adventure that left me not interested in much else. So we invited some friends over for dinner and goofed off for the evening. Thursday we got up bright and early for our first field trip of the month to The King Center (blog post to follow) and had a wonderful day all around. Friday and Saturday are our days off. The kids watched Rocko's Modern Life all day - literally, and I caught up on all of those recipes I hadn't made all week. That brings us to today where I've sort of found my bearings again, but we'll see how things go. I really need to get these children to a park. Hopefully the weather will work with me (and my van, of course.)
Books
Composting: Nature's Recyclers by Robin Koontz
We've been composting for a while now, but this talks about the different creatures that benefit from a compost heap and explains why it might look or smell weird. If you are thinking about starting to compost, this is a good way to introduce it to your kids.
Math Potatoes by Greg Tang
Another math book for Dimples. She just likes to count one by one, but I try to show her how the poem suggests to count faster. She's not that interested, but she's only four.
Dwarf Planets: Pluto, Charon, Ceres, and Eris by Nancy Loewen
My kids are young enough that they don't really care that Pluto was "demoted" to a dwarf planet. Still it's fun to read about space and this is a good introduction to the other dwarf planets. Honestly, I thought a couple of those were moons, so I learned something too.
Ouch! How Your Body Makes it Through a Very Bad Day by Richard Walker
This one came with a cd of videos for some of the bad things that happen. You get to see computerized vomit come back up, a mosquito in an ear, and the need to urinate from the inside. The kids enjoyed the videos so much they let me read the entire book to them! It took us an hour, yet still kept everyone interested. They asked a lot of questions too, so I think this one is definitely worth checking out.
Tomie dePaola's Book of Poems
While at the Kia dealership there was another mom there with a book by Tomie dePaola. I think it was a nursery tales one. The kids listened while she read a story to her son. Since they enjoyed it so much I tried to find it at our library, but it was out. Since Funny Girl is into poetry, I grabbed this one instead. I like that it has poems that do not rhyme as well as ones that do. Personally, I prefer the cadence of rhyming poetry, but Funny Girl has asked me to find her poems that do not rhyme and so there we have it.
Coraline by Neil Gaiman
Funny Girl requested this one after seeing a movie poster at the library. We are reading one chapter per day and so far she's very fond of pointing out the differences in the movie. It's a introduction to discussing why movie adaptations are different. I am hoping to finish this for the book club meeting in case she wants to present.
For next week we are starting Odd and the Frost Giants by Neil Gaiman and Robotson is reading Star Jumper to us as well. He's been very interested in sharing it with us for a while now so I let him have the floor each evening for a chapter.
Books
Composting: Nature's Recyclers by Robin Koontz
We've been composting for a while now, but this talks about the different creatures that benefit from a compost heap and explains why it might look or smell weird. If you are thinking about starting to compost, this is a good way to introduce it to your kids.
Math Potatoes by Greg Tang
Another math book for Dimples. She just likes to count one by one, but I try to show her how the poem suggests to count faster. She's not that interested, but she's only four.
Dwarf Planets: Pluto, Charon, Ceres, and Eris by Nancy Loewen
My kids are young enough that they don't really care that Pluto was "demoted" to a dwarf planet. Still it's fun to read about space and this is a good introduction to the other dwarf planets. Honestly, I thought a couple of those were moons, so I learned something too.
Ouch! How Your Body Makes it Through a Very Bad Day by Richard Walker
This one came with a cd of videos for some of the bad things that happen. You get to see computerized vomit come back up, a mosquito in an ear, and the need to urinate from the inside. The kids enjoyed the videos so much they let me read the entire book to them! It took us an hour, yet still kept everyone interested. They asked a lot of questions too, so I think this one is definitely worth checking out.
Tomie dePaola's Book of Poems
While at the Kia dealership there was another mom there with a book by Tomie dePaola. I think it was a nursery tales one. The kids listened while she read a story to her son. Since they enjoyed it so much I tried to find it at our library, but it was out. Since Funny Girl is into poetry, I grabbed this one instead. I like that it has poems that do not rhyme as well as ones that do. Personally, I prefer the cadence of rhyming poetry, but Funny Girl has asked me to find her poems that do not rhyme and so there we have it.
Coraline by Neil Gaiman
Funny Girl requested this one after seeing a movie poster at the library. We are reading one chapter per day and so far she's very fond of pointing out the differences in the movie. It's a introduction to discussing why movie adaptations are different. I am hoping to finish this for the book club meeting in case she wants to present.
For next week we are starting Odd and the Frost Giants by Neil Gaiman and Robotson is reading Star Jumper to us as well. He's been very interested in sharing it with us for a while now so I let him have the floor each evening for a chapter.
January 9, 2012
Poetry by Funny Girl - 1/9/12
My Roller Coaster
It goes up.
It goes loop, loop.
And it goes up again.
Then it goes down.
It went up slowly, turned upside down, and ZOOM!!
January 7, 2012
Homeschool Days 1/7/12
Been a while since I've talked about our days. This might look like a fine start to a New Year's resolution, but I'm not thinking about it in that way. I always want to keep a record of the things we are doing; it IS required by law after all. I'd just fallen out of the habit and now I hope to fall back into it.
I think I can honestly say we are unschooling now. I might have felt a twinge of guilt before with that claim, but we've gone a good amount of time now with complete child-led learning. Each of the kids has something they are really focused on right now and we do a little of that each day together. Dimples is very interested in cooking and usually helps me with at least one meal. She is especially fond of baking. Funny Girl still loves to write. She often asks me to help her spell out words for her stories and poems. Robotson is mixing, remixing, mashing, and composing as usual. He's working on a little online presence on YouTube. It's exciting and scary all at once.
Lately we've jumped back into nightly reading as well as me sitting with the kids one-on-one with a book. I want to get us back to the book club meetings so the girls can get a chance to talk about their books. Right now Robotson and I are reading Little Town on the Prairie. Funny Girl is interested in poetry so we are choosing selections from Classic Poetry: An Illustrated Collection. Dimples was struck by the story of Martin Luther King, Jr. so we read a few about him together: Happy Birthday Martin Luther King, I've Seen the Promised Land: The Life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and Rosa. Rosa is not about MLK, in particular, but Rosa Parks is mentioned in both of the other books so she understood the relevance. We are attending a trip to the MLK Center next week as well.
A few other titles we read this week are:
The Whipping Boy by Sid Fleischman
Prince Brat pulls all kinds of stunts while his whipping boy takes the heat. When the prince decides to run away, taking the whipping boy with him, he learns a few things about friendship and loyalty.
Where Is the Green Sheep? by Mem Fox
This is mostly an opposite book, but it's a little more fun and interesting for an early reader.
Roller Coaster by Marla Frazee
Lots of little things to look at in the pages of this book as you get a first-hand description of a roller coaster ride.
The Legend of the Lady Slipper by Lise Lunge-Larsen and Margi Preus
A young girl makes a dangerous journey to get medicine for her village. On the way back her moccasins are lost and her feet are injured so she leaves bloody footprints in the snow. When they go out to find her moccasins later they find a new flower, the lady slipper orchid, where her footprints had been. The story is similar to Brave Irene.
Harry and the Bucketful of Dinosaurs by Ian Whybrow
Funny Girl says there is a t.v. show based on this book about Harry who finds a box of dinosaurs in the attic. He cleans them up and carries them around in a bucket everywhere he goes. It's a cool book for learning dinosaur names.
The kids are bombarding me with books right now. I guess they were missing our reading time. We've got a lot of good reading coming up in the next several weeks.
There is a lot more stuff going on, but it will have to wait because I want to get some reading in for myself.
I think I can honestly say we are unschooling now. I might have felt a twinge of guilt before with that claim, but we've gone a good amount of time now with complete child-led learning. Each of the kids has something they are really focused on right now and we do a little of that each day together. Dimples is very interested in cooking and usually helps me with at least one meal. She is especially fond of baking. Funny Girl still loves to write. She often asks me to help her spell out words for her stories and poems. Robotson is mixing, remixing, mashing, and composing as usual. He's working on a little online presence on YouTube. It's exciting and scary all at once.
Lately we've jumped back into nightly reading as well as me sitting with the kids one-on-one with a book. I want to get us back to the book club meetings so the girls can get a chance to talk about their books. Right now Robotson and I are reading Little Town on the Prairie. Funny Girl is interested in poetry so we are choosing selections from Classic Poetry: An Illustrated Collection. Dimples was struck by the story of Martin Luther King, Jr. so we read a few about him together: Happy Birthday Martin Luther King, I've Seen the Promised Land: The Life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and Rosa. Rosa is not about MLK, in particular, but Rosa Parks is mentioned in both of the other books so she understood the relevance. We are attending a trip to the MLK Center next week as well.
A few other titles we read this week are:
The Whipping Boy by Sid Fleischman
Prince Brat pulls all kinds of stunts while his whipping boy takes the heat. When the prince decides to run away, taking the whipping boy with him, he learns a few things about friendship and loyalty.
Where Is the Green Sheep? by Mem Fox
This is mostly an opposite book, but it's a little more fun and interesting for an early reader.
Roller Coaster by Marla Frazee
Lots of little things to look at in the pages of this book as you get a first-hand description of a roller coaster ride.
The Legend of the Lady Slipper by Lise Lunge-Larsen and Margi Preus
A young girl makes a dangerous journey to get medicine for her village. On the way back her moccasins are lost and her feet are injured so she leaves bloody footprints in the snow. When they go out to find her moccasins later they find a new flower, the lady slipper orchid, where her footprints had been. The story is similar to Brave Irene.
Harry and the Bucketful of Dinosaurs by Ian Whybrow
Funny Girl says there is a t.v. show based on this book about Harry who finds a box of dinosaurs in the attic. He cleans them up and carries them around in a bucket everywhere he goes. It's a cool book for learning dinosaur names.
The kids are bombarding me with books right now. I guess they were missing our reading time. We've got a lot of good reading coming up in the next several weeks.
There is a lot more stuff going on, but it will have to wait because I want to get some reading in for myself.
December 31, 2011
New Year Resolutions 2012
We do not normally do New Year's resolutions. If we want to try something new we usually have better results if we just jump right in. Waiting until some future date generally just gives us time to talk ourselves out of it. However, we are making a family resolution for 2012 - we are giving up soda (and other high-caloric drinks) and eating less dairy, eggs, and fish (the kids are technically pescetarians.) B and I would ultimately like to be vegan, but it's not something we are too concerned about for the kids. The plan is just to try out more vegan recipes, and find out how many we can incorporate into our daily lives with minimal complaining.
Right now I'm checking out blogs, websites, and cookbooks for ideas. With five people it's not always easy to find something that everyone will eat though. Just as an example here is some of what I have to think about: B isn't a big fan of pasta dishes, Funny Girl won't touch salads, Robotson hates beans of any kind. None of the kids will eat tofu, rice, seeds, or nuts. I don't enjoy cooking or baking so I try to find recipes that don't take too much time and are not complicated. It's a little bit daunting to think about how much more time I am going to be spending making food when it sometimes seems like a huge pain just to bake a pizza. Honestly, I think the biggest obstacle in this plan is me. That's why I'm doing so much prep work. Here are a few things I've come up with to help.
I'm checking out vegan cookbooks from the library so that I can try recipes before I spend any money. I have several vegetarian cookbooks that I rarely use because I didn't research them properly.
I've already figured out that I want to stay away from books/blogs that have a lot of recipes with meat or cheese substitutes. They are o.k. here and there, but I want to find ways to cook with the actual food we'll be eating and not processed soy products.
I'm also staying away from recipes with ingredients that are going to be hard to find. I'm pretty well-versed with what our local grocery stores carry. I don't want to add hours of driving and shopping to my list of things to do.
While looking for vegan recipes I've noticed a lot of sweet dessert-y type things. They always sound yummy, but I began to wonder if there was a point to eating vegan if everything was full of sugar. However, the truth is that my kids like sweet stuff and having a few vegan cookies on hand for a snack or blueberry scones for breakfast is not a bad way to go in the beginning. Besides, I have successfully cut the sugar in several recipes or substituted molasses and agave nectar here and there with no one being the wiser.
Here are a few resources that I already use or want to check out:
iPhone apps - Vegan Yum Yum and Whole Foods These are free and have some good stuff in them.
Books - I own and love Vegan Comfort Food. The author, Alicia Simpson, has a couple of other books that I want to get, one for holidays and a new one that is low calorie. I just checked out Vegan Lunch Box and BabyCakes from the library. Unfortunately neither gets very good reviews on Amazon so I may not stick with them. I am trying to get my hands on Vegan Brunch, Viva Vegan, Quick-Fix Vegan, The Mediterranean Vegan Kitchen, and The 30 Minute Vegan. Those all have pretty good reviews. Anyone out there have any opinions they'd like to share?
Blogs - Oh She Glows, Holy Cow! Vegan Recipes, Vegan Guinea Pig, Love Veggies and Yoga (not all of her recipes are vegan, but the ones that are sound so yummy!)
These should get us started. I don't know that we will completely go vegan, but to goal is just to take another step in the direction of eating healthier
Right now I'm checking out blogs, websites, and cookbooks for ideas. With five people it's not always easy to find something that everyone will eat though. Just as an example here is some of what I have to think about: B isn't a big fan of pasta dishes, Funny Girl won't touch salads, Robotson hates beans of any kind. None of the kids will eat tofu, rice, seeds, or nuts. I don't enjoy cooking or baking so I try to find recipes that don't take too much time and are not complicated. It's a little bit daunting to think about how much more time I am going to be spending making food when it sometimes seems like a huge pain just to bake a pizza. Honestly, I think the biggest obstacle in this plan is me. That's why I'm doing so much prep work. Here are a few things I've come up with to help.
I'm checking out vegan cookbooks from the library so that I can try recipes before I spend any money. I have several vegetarian cookbooks that I rarely use because I didn't research them properly.
I've already figured out that I want to stay away from books/blogs that have a lot of recipes with meat or cheese substitutes. They are o.k. here and there, but I want to find ways to cook with the actual food we'll be eating and not processed soy products.
I'm also staying away from recipes with ingredients that are going to be hard to find. I'm pretty well-versed with what our local grocery stores carry. I don't want to add hours of driving and shopping to my list of things to do.
While looking for vegan recipes I've noticed a lot of sweet dessert-y type things. They always sound yummy, but I began to wonder if there was a point to eating vegan if everything was full of sugar. However, the truth is that my kids like sweet stuff and having a few vegan cookies on hand for a snack or blueberry scones for breakfast is not a bad way to go in the beginning. Besides, I have successfully cut the sugar in several recipes or substituted molasses and agave nectar here and there with no one being the wiser.
Here are a few resources that I already use or want to check out:
iPhone apps - Vegan Yum Yum and Whole Foods These are free and have some good stuff in them.
Books - I own and love Vegan Comfort Food. The author, Alicia Simpson, has a couple of other books that I want to get, one for holidays and a new one that is low calorie. I just checked out Vegan Lunch Box and BabyCakes from the library. Unfortunately neither gets very good reviews on Amazon so I may not stick with them. I am trying to get my hands on Vegan Brunch, Viva Vegan, Quick-Fix Vegan, The Mediterranean Vegan Kitchen, and The 30 Minute Vegan. Those all have pretty good reviews. Anyone out there have any opinions they'd like to share?
Blogs - Oh She Glows, Holy Cow! Vegan Recipes, Vegan Guinea Pig, Love Veggies and Yoga (not all of her recipes are vegan, but the ones that are sound so yummy!)
These should get us started. I don't know that we will completely go vegan, but to goal is just to take another step in the direction of eating healthier
December 25, 2011
Holiday Traditions
Sometimes the things you picture in your head turn out so different from reality. I've posted before about how I imagined our home school days would look before I actually started doing it. Attentive kids sitting quietly while I filled their little heads with the wonders of the universe. We'd go everywhere and do everything and it would always be fun! How very Mary Poppins of me. It took a long time to let go of that picture even though we never had one single day that went like that. Heck, we never had an hour like that.
So it shouldn't be that surprising that my sugar plum visions of Christmas aren't all that accurate either. Trimming the tree would be a family affair with Christmas music playing in the background. We would read the numerous holiday books that we have accumulated all through December, ending on Christmas Eve with 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. I pictured us baking cookies. Then the kids would get into their pajamas and brush their teeth, before setting the cookies and milk out for Santa. They'll climb into bed and fall asleep while B and I drink egg nog and finish wrapping presents.
But the reality is.....the tree decorating is kind of crazy because the girls want to put everything up at once and can only reach the lowest branches (if you have kids, this isn't news to you.) Robotson generally doesn't want to participate at all. B and I do a lot of explaining, moving, and lifting to even things out a bit. The reading thing rarely happens though we have more holiday books than days in the month now. And B always has to take the little ones to bed so I can finish things up without being spied on.
It used to bother me that none of my fantasies were reality, until I realized that we do have family traditions and they were born from the uniqueness of our family.
No matter how lopsided the ornaments are, the top of our tree always has a Santa hat with Mickey Mouse ears. We do bake cookies. Our family does sugar cookies (this year they were vegan, soft, and oh SO yummy!) and we decorate them with loads of icing and sprinkles. This year we had friends over to help us, see below for pictures! We also leave Santa soda, not milk. This year it's a Barq's Red Creme soda that we have imported from Ohio. It's Santa's personal favorite we've heard. And on Christmas Eve we all sleep upstairs in B's and my room. It's the one night of the year that we are all together so that we see everything together in the morning.
Our traditions aren't the sort that make it into storybooks or movies, but they evolved naturally in our lives and reflect things that are special to us. Every year I learn to appreciate more of what we actually have, and worry less about what is supposedly missing.
Wishing you all a Happy Holiday!
So it shouldn't be that surprising that my sugar plum visions of Christmas aren't all that accurate either. Trimming the tree would be a family affair with Christmas music playing in the background. We would read the numerous holiday books that we have accumulated all through December, ending on Christmas Eve with 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. I pictured us baking cookies. Then the kids would get into their pajamas and brush their teeth, before setting the cookies and milk out for Santa. They'll climb into bed and fall asleep while B and I drink egg nog and finish wrapping presents.
But the reality is.....the tree decorating is kind of crazy because the girls want to put everything up at once and can only reach the lowest branches (if you have kids, this isn't news to you.) Robotson generally doesn't want to participate at all. B and I do a lot of explaining, moving, and lifting to even things out a bit. The reading thing rarely happens though we have more holiday books than days in the month now. And B always has to take the little ones to bed so I can finish things up without being spied on.
It used to bother me that none of my fantasies were reality, until I realized that we do have family traditions and they were born from the uniqueness of our family.
No matter how lopsided the ornaments are, the top of our tree always has a Santa hat with Mickey Mouse ears. We do bake cookies. Our family does sugar cookies (this year they were vegan, soft, and oh SO yummy!) and we decorate them with loads of icing and sprinkles. This year we had friends over to help us, see below for pictures! We also leave Santa soda, not milk. This year it's a Barq's Red Creme soda that we have imported from Ohio. It's Santa's personal favorite we've heard. And on Christmas Eve we all sleep upstairs in B's and my room. It's the one night of the year that we are all together so that we see everything together in the morning.
Our traditions aren't the sort that make it into storybooks or movies, but they evolved naturally in our lives and reflect things that are special to us. Every year I learn to appreciate more of what we actually have, and worry less about what is supposedly missing.
Wishing you all a Happy Holiday!
December 22, 2011
Happy Winter's Solstice!
While looking for holiday books on Amazon, I came across A Solstice Tree for Jenny. Jenny's parents are atheists (though that term is never actually used) and they don't celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa because of their religious affiliations. Usually they travel during December, but this year they are home and Jenny feels like she's missing something. Fortunately, a teacher at school explains the winter solstice to her and Jenny comes up with a more secular way to celebrate all of the good parts of the holidays, like helping others and being with family and friends.
This is one of those books that I wanted to read with the kids, but they weren't very interested. Robotson has the most experience with my reading out loud so he actually picked up most of the story even while playing with his iPod. I throughly enjoyed it though. In fact, I very much hope that as the girls outgrow Santa, we can begin a tradition of celebrating the winter solstice with a focus on more than ourselves and gifts under a tree. For a while now I've nudged us in the direction of doing more together or for others as opposed to getting or giving things. As everyone knows though, this isn't an easy transition. I loved the ideas from the book, like buying a live tree to decorate instead of killing one by cutting it down. I also loved the little phrases they hung on tree about the things that they believe. Most of all, I liked how Jenny put a jar under the tree to collect money for a cause instead of gifts. I am all for giving gifts, but it's a truly beautiful idea to think beyond yourself. When she has her friends over to see her tree, they are going to notice what is important to Jenny and her family. It could lead to great discussions and open up new ways of thinking.
Maybe that's what is missing from our lives right now. This ......waiting...... for Christmas because all the focus is on us and presents for the kids. I am increasingly less satisfied with the "things" in my life. Next year I want to incorporate a little bit of what Jenny did with her family into our holiday. Perhaps we'll get a living tree. Perhaps we'll make our own ornaments, perhaps we do a collection for a something. But that's the direction I want to move towards - a celebration of life, gratitude, and connectedness with everything around us.
We have the blahs
Our days are so boring lately. It's not that we don't have anything to do, it's that nothing seems satisfying. So we flit here and there, bickering over everything, staying up too late at night, and always sort of waiting for the next something to happen. I know my mind is turning to mush because while everyone else is posting about important political issues, climate change, health studies, and human rights - I can't even focus on the titles let alone read the actual information. I try to sit down with the kids to read, but they don't want to listen. I try to show them something on the computer, but they tell me it's boring. I try to take them places, but they fight every step of the way. I'm not sure if they are feeling my blahs or vice versa. All I know is I'm so not motivated to do anything right now. I haven't even sent our monthly attendance report in for November. At this point I guess I'll just send two in January.
Meh.....
December 17, 2011
Honest Conversation with Robotson
I just had the best conversation with Robotson. I am reading Why Kids Lie: How Parents Can Encourage Truthfulness by Paul Ekman. While my kids do lie, and Robotson has been especially untruthful this past year, the reason I am reading this book is because Paul Ekman was the scientist that Cal Lightman was based on in Lie To Me. I wanted to read all of his books, but could only find two in our library system so I checked out the one above and Telling Lies: Clue to Deceit in the Marketplace, Politics, and Marriage.
The last two chapters in Why Kids Lie were written by Dr. Ekman's wife and at one point she describes a study where they grouped parental discipline into three categories: power assertion (should be obvious), love withdrawal (anger and disappointment but no physical punishment), and induction (calmly explaining consequences of actions on others.) She writes that, "Induction won handily over power assertion and love withdrawal. This means that a child has a better chance of internalizing the lesson and not repeating the behavior. The child who is physically punished for his behavior, or who has love withdrawn, has less chance of incorporating the lesson. The father who explains why missing the curfew worries him has a better chance of inculcating the lesson of responsibility and truth telling than the father who blows up."
I decided to run this idea by Robotson to see what he thought of it. I didn't really expect him to talk much about it since he was in the middle of working on a mashup, but he jumped on it. In fact, I think our conversation was incredibly mature and well-spoken, as if he'd been thinking about it for years. First I asked him which approach he thought would work best and he immediately said that explaining consequences in a calm way was the most effective. He made a point to emphasize calm as the key word. I think B and I do talk a lot about consequences, but I am sure we are rarely very calm. Then I asked him which parents we were and he said I am love withdrawal and B is more power assertion.
Robotson knows I've been reading this book, so I explained that I was wondering, in terms of being more truthful with parents, if the induction method would foster that in him. He said yes. We talked about how a lot of lies are told out of fear of punishment, being yelled at, or sent to his room. But he thinks that if we always approached things calmly that he'd feel less compelled to lie. He said, "I would still feel guilty if you told me calmly that what I did made you feel mad and disappointed, but I wouldn't be afraid." He said he doesn't even really think about telling us a lie, it just comes out when we are really mad at him.
Then we talked a little bit about trust. I explained that it's hard to trust someone who isn't honest. He said it's hard to care about that when you think you are going to get into trouble. I can certainly see his point. I think it goes back to choosing your battles. I know I overreact to minor offenses because they pile up day after day. If I spent more time calmly explaining after the little stuff, then when something major happens that I really do need to correct immediately, he can see the difference in my approach. Right now everything probably sounds the same and probably all gets filtered into the "avoid punishment at any cost" response.
Then I turned the tables and asked him about his own responses to similar situations, for example if one of the girls does something and he confronts them. He was able to see how he was more of a power assertion type and that he would like to change that. He suggested we try to remind each other when we are not taking a calm approach. I think this is a great idea! The key for both of us would be to listen and some of that has to do with how it is approached. In the past I have been known to tell Robotson to calm down in a very agitated and commanding way. I can see how this is probably not going to get me very far, or inspire me to calm down coming from an 11 year old who may have done something to cause me to be angry in the first place.
So overall, I am really enjoying the book. It's a bit dated and there is more research out now about children, and lying in general. One of the most interesting ideas is that liars have more connections in their brains. They are able to connect ideas that don't normally go together or are even based in reality. If you think of that in terms of little kids who are forming new connections at amazing rates, it could be a very normal part of brain development that shouldn't be punished. Instead, we should start the conversations about how honesty is important and how it differs from storytelling. This plus being calm when we are confronted with a lie would probably go a long way in raising truthful kids. At least that's what Robotson and I came up with when we talked about it tonight.
The last two chapters in Why Kids Lie were written by Dr. Ekman's wife and at one point she describes a study where they grouped parental discipline into three categories: power assertion (should be obvious), love withdrawal (anger and disappointment but no physical punishment), and induction (calmly explaining consequences of actions on others.) She writes that, "Induction won handily over power assertion and love withdrawal. This means that a child has a better chance of internalizing the lesson and not repeating the behavior. The child who is physically punished for his behavior, or who has love withdrawn, has less chance of incorporating the lesson. The father who explains why missing the curfew worries him has a better chance of inculcating the lesson of responsibility and truth telling than the father who blows up."
I decided to run this idea by Robotson to see what he thought of it. I didn't really expect him to talk much about it since he was in the middle of working on a mashup, but he jumped on it. In fact, I think our conversation was incredibly mature and well-spoken, as if he'd been thinking about it for years. First I asked him which approach he thought would work best and he immediately said that explaining consequences in a calm way was the most effective. He made a point to emphasize calm as the key word. I think B and I do talk a lot about consequences, but I am sure we are rarely very calm. Then I asked him which parents we were and he said I am love withdrawal and B is more power assertion.
Robotson knows I've been reading this book, so I explained that I was wondering, in terms of being more truthful with parents, if the induction method would foster that in him. He said yes. We talked about how a lot of lies are told out of fear of punishment, being yelled at, or sent to his room. But he thinks that if we always approached things calmly that he'd feel less compelled to lie. He said, "I would still feel guilty if you told me calmly that what I did made you feel mad and disappointed, but I wouldn't be afraid." He said he doesn't even really think about telling us a lie, it just comes out when we are really mad at him.
Then we talked a little bit about trust. I explained that it's hard to trust someone who isn't honest. He said it's hard to care about that when you think you are going to get into trouble. I can certainly see his point. I think it goes back to choosing your battles. I know I overreact to minor offenses because they pile up day after day. If I spent more time calmly explaining after the little stuff, then when something major happens that I really do need to correct immediately, he can see the difference in my approach. Right now everything probably sounds the same and probably all gets filtered into the "avoid punishment at any cost" response.
Then I turned the tables and asked him about his own responses to similar situations, for example if one of the girls does something and he confronts them. He was able to see how he was more of a power assertion type and that he would like to change that. He suggested we try to remind each other when we are not taking a calm approach. I think this is a great idea! The key for both of us would be to listen and some of that has to do with how it is approached. In the past I have been known to tell Robotson to calm down in a very agitated and commanding way. I can see how this is probably not going to get me very far, or inspire me to calm down coming from an 11 year old who may have done something to cause me to be angry in the first place.
So overall, I am really enjoying the book. It's a bit dated and there is more research out now about children, and lying in general. One of the most interesting ideas is that liars have more connections in their brains. They are able to connect ideas that don't normally go together or are even based in reality. If you think of that in terms of little kids who are forming new connections at amazing rates, it could be a very normal part of brain development that shouldn't be punished. Instead, we should start the conversations about how honesty is important and how it differs from storytelling. This plus being calm when we are confronted with a lie would probably go a long way in raising truthful kids. At least that's what Robotson and I came up with when we talked about it tonight.
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