Let's talk about bedtimes

First, just a little administrative note.  Back when I was a more regular blogger, I kept up better with the maintenance of the comments.  Now I don't pay much attention and  sometimes this means I miss legitimate comments.  They get stuck in spam or missed entirely.  Way back when, I made it as easy to comment as possible to encourage conversation.  However I just cleared out 1000 spam comments because it's just too easy to for them to do.  So I'm going to make some changes.  I doubt this will make much impact since I'm not even sure who all still follows this blog.  It's mostly for my convenience so I don't have to do as much cleanup when I get around to it.

So bedtimes.  For me, this is the worst part of being a parent.  Well maybe not as bad as cleaning up middle of the night vomit, but that doesn't happen every night.  I'm definitely a night person, but I want this time for myself.  I need to unwind after the day and I need to do it alone.  This time is pretty much essential to my sanity, so putting kids to bed is frustrating because they stall.  The more they stall, the more I get frustrated and it's a not good cycle.  Fortunately, B can take the kids that are currently sleeping with us to bed with him.  This works out fine for me.  Babies can throw a monkey wrench into that, but only for the first year.  After that I'm free of kid duty again.  Only not really.

We read, we brush teeth, we give goodnight hugs and kisses, and then I send them downstairs.  They come back up.  I send them down.  They come back up.  This happens night after night.  There are books about this so I know I'm not alone here.  Why do they come back up?  Questions, concerns, worries, stories, thirst, bugs, art supplies, books.  Everything under the moon.  I try to be patient, but after about the sixth time I just want to scream, "Leave me alone!"

Today I was catching up on other blogs and I came across this one about the ways life got easier when she started homeschooling.  Number seven gets to me.  We've homeschooled for seven years and bedtime has never been easy.  Maybe I don't know what it would have been like if we'd had to put kids to bed for school and how it's easier to not have to do that.  Because other than that, I don't think I have it easy.

Bedtimes here don't mean going to sleep.  They just mean leave mom alone.  Seems simple enough.  Although I have a confession - I do want them to go to sleep.  Lately it seems like they are staying up later and later, way past when I want to be up.  Natural body rhythms are great, but there are things to accomplish during the day.  Sleeping until noon isn't always a good thing.  So I'm sort of stuck here.  I could make some changes, but they require me to change and I simply don't want to do that.  Maybe that's why that blog post got under my skin.  I want my kids to go to bed easily and early, even though I know it's hard for me to do the same.

FunnyGirl and books

FunnyGirl is really getting into reading.  I found out recently that Geshtro was teaching her how to read Hop on Pop.  She's also been interested in reading some of the early reader books we pick up at the library and of course our daily reading together plays a part.  This is the whole of what we've done to "teach" FG to read.  It's very similar to Geshtro except that he didn't have an older sibling to help him.  I truly love that the kids learn to read by immersion.  Lately FG has also gotten into audiobooks.  I downloaded The Wonderful Wizard of Oz and the first two Diary of a Wimpy Kid books to her iPod.  She listened to them all in three days.  I already promised she could use my next two Audible credits and I have a couple of other children's books to add for her.  I'm going to have to start looking for free stuff though!  Dimples has also been listening to audiobooks since her big sister is doing it.  She's not quite ready to begin reading, but she'll probably hop on board before the year is out.   

FunnyGirl is still into poetry too.  She hasn't written anything new, but she's going to read her poems in the Girl Scout talent show and take a poetry class in a couple of weeks.  And a random FG fact, she lost her third tooth yesterday!

Unschooling and Minecraft

There are weeks, even months, where I feel like our days are only filled with YouTube and Minecraft.  It's hard to see those days as valuable.  I spend a lot of time worrying in my head about which scientific study is right, the one where screens are the future or the one where they turn brains to mush.  Actually those two statements could both be true, so I suppose it doesn't much matter.  Fortunately, there is plenty of good that comes from these things too.

I just listened to Geshtro making a video for his YouTube channel.  Normally his stuff just sort of mingles with the rest of the background noise and I don't pay much attention.  This time though, I got caught up in his narrative.  I can't actually tell you what he was saying, only how he was saying it.  He wasn't stuttering.  I'm not sure it's a stutter that he has really, but he does this thing at the end of his words where he repeats the last syllable 1-3 times before moving on to the next word.  It's sort of like his mouth is moving faster than his brain and instead of just having silence while he gets out the next word, he draws out the last one.  I can't really describe it properly.  I've noticed that when he thinks about what he wants to say before he says it, it doesn't happen.  I've also noticed he doesn't do it when he's extremely familiar with what he's talking about.  It happens most often when he's unsure of what he's talking about.  While listening to him make this video though, I noticed he kept the flow of the conversation going, quite rapidly actually, without the end stutter even though he was playing in a mod that he had never used before.  I also noticed that all of those hours of watching others' YouTube videos has made an impact on the cadence of his speech and the phrases he uses.  His narrative was seamless and witty, despite being totally off-the-cuff.   It's quite a difference from when he first began making videos several months back.  I may not always see the value in his choice of activities, but clearly he is learning.  

I'll have to write a whole other post later about his musical accomplishments.  They are really quite extraordinary as well!

Hats

How many hats do you wear?  My therapist asked me this a few weeks ago.  It's a hard question to answer.  Does each thing that I want to do constitute another hat or do I only wear the hats for things I actually get done.  If I only own actual hats then I suppose I wear six.

Mom - which has so many sub-hats that I could never count them
Chef - both by breast and in the kitchen
Head of Household Staff
Unschool Overseer/Project Manager/Book Reader
Head of Finances
GS Leader

Of course I try to put on some other head apparel here and there like photographer, blogger, and friend, but they usually get lost in among the other hats.  It sucks because those last three are the ones that give me any sort of style.  Maybe they aren't very original, but they are still me.

So I'm in therapy for postpartum anxiety.  I nearly died giving birth to Sweetpea.  Apparently it's hard for my body to come to terms with what happened.  I think the help I am getting is good, but I still have some very hard days.   My overall fear of dying has mostly subsided.  I worried obsessively for the first eight weeks before I could take care of those fears.  They've since been replaced by anxiety for Sweetpea.  The panic attacks are just as hard when they hit, but they come less frequently at least.  It doesn't seem like each day brings me closer to feeling like I can handle my worries, but when I look back at where I was, I can see that they do.  In case you are curious, my therapy is not medicinal because I feel that I am making progress without, however I am open-minded if things change.  Also most of my practice for taking care of the anxiety revolves around mindfulness and gratitude.  Since I've been thinking about these things for a while now it's perhaps easier for me to heal myself.

Are you wondering if a near death experience changed my views on religion?  It did not.  If anything I have found comfort in knowing that if the end comes there are many loving and wonderful people HERE that can help my family.  Also, selfish as it is, it's more difficult for me to imagine being in heaven looking down at everything I love and knowing that I'm not a part of it anymore.  There is comfort in not knowing anything at all.  My worries about dying were not about me.  They were for the people I left behind.  How could they go on without me?  But I can see that they would.  Losing my FIL last year has sort of shown me this as well.  I miss him a lot.  We didn't talk all the time or see each other very often, but many things remind me of him.  B's facial expressions, Sweetpea's middle name, items around the house, and the kids memories of him.  Yet we all go on each day and I know that it would be the same if it was me.

For now, I'm grateful to be here.  I want to live in the moment and not be paralyzed by fear of the unknown future.  I hope to wear many hats, both old and new.

A week with fewer screens

Sweetpea was born on December 5.  It's been a bit of an adjustment, but she's doing great and the kids all love her.  Still, there is some extra stress around here and it finally came to a head this weekend.  There has been a lot of attitude and overall grumpiness.  Lack of sleep and proper nutrition, plus hardly ever leaving the house has made us all a little edgy.

I don't really like taking things away from the kids to get their attention.  I much prefer talking to them and looking for the root of the problem.  However, I made the decision this week to remove access to the iPads, computers, and the Internet on Geshtro's iPod.  The breaking point for me was when I was cleaning up after all three kids in the kitchen while each of them watched YouTube on a difference device.

The next morning I sat down with each of the kids and talked to them about what was bothering me in their actions and attitudes.  The girls were disappointed, but were able to tell me about how they were feeling.  I think we all felt better after having listened to each other.  Geshtro took it pretty badly and was very upset with me.  I think he gets it though because he's been easier to communicate with these last two days.  Even though I don't really want to go this route, I have to say that I am enjoying the result.  The kids aren't moping around, they are choosing to do other things.  The girls are playing outside and with their toys more.  Geshtro is talking about doing a scavenger hunt, playing with his LEGOs again, and was watching Beakman's World.  It's just nice to see them doing something other than staring at screens.  Ideally, I'd like them to have access to screens *and* choose to do other things. I think we've all gotten into some bad habits and we just need a little shake up to get out of our ruts.

Countries of the World Fair

Filling our her passport for travel.

First stop, Japan.

Next up, China.

Ireland

France

The United States, specifically Native Americans.

Romania

South Korea

Russia

Canada

Mom helping out.

Australia

Geshtro's video on the BBC from the U.K.

Cartersville, GA Etowah Indian Mounds

Representation of the village.

From the museum, examples from foraging.

On one mound with another in the background.

View from a mound.

A look down the river.

The river in the other direction.

Watching the river with friends.

Cherokee, NC Oconaluftee Indian Village

Weaving belts

Weaving belts

Fall colors

Beading

Making cups

Overlooking a garden

Weaving baskets

Making weapons

Blow gun arrow

Making canoes

Meeting house

Telling stories

Teaching us about dances

Funny Girl dancing with a British soldier

In the garden house

Happy girls

Country Projects

Back in August I mentioned that Geshtro and Dimples were doing country projects for an upcoming fair that another homeschooling mom is putting together.  We've been slowly making progress on them and I'm so excited to see their final products, as well as all of the other kids' work.  Both of the kids narrowed their focus significantly to specific aspects of their country.  Geshtro is concentrating on the BBC and Dimples decided to focus on Native Americans.

Geshtro's decided to do a video.  He's finishing up the music composition and putting the video together now.  I can't say more about it, but it's so cool.

Dimples hasn't decided how she wants to present hers yet.  The last couple of weeks we've visited some places to help her learn and experience Native American life.  Two weeks ago we visited the Etowah Indian Mounds in Cartersville, GA.   Then last weekend we went to Cherokee, NC and visited the Oconaluftee Indian Village.  Both trips were amazingly beautiful and fun.  We took so many pictures, but I don't want to spoil the project so they will have to wait.  There's only a couple more weeks until the fair!

TED Talk on Unschooling