July 8, 2009

Out of focus

"Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased with tales, so is the other."
--Francis Bacon

There has been a lot of talk about death lately. Michael Jackson was a big one, but Billy Mays made a small impact as well. Robotson frequently tells me I need to buy some Orangeglo or OxyClean. He's a fan of infomercials!

The kids knew MJ as Captain EO. We had a few MJ songs we played every once in a while, but like most people, his genius was mostly forgotten. And also like most people, when we found out he was gone, we dug out all the cds and videos we could find to reminisce.

Yesterday I saw a link to the video of Paris speaking at the memorial. It made me cry. Robotson asked me what was wrong, so I explained how sad I was for MJ's children. He sort of looked at me funny and said, "But they can still see him in videos and pictures. Just like what we've been looking at." I played the video for him and I could see him comprehending the pain and sadness of that little girl. I asked him if having pictures of daddy would stop the sadness if he wasn't here anymore. He looked up at me and shook his head.

Sometimes death is even still confusing and upsetting for me to think about. For kids, it must float between real and unreal all the time. For Robotson, I think death seems a little out of focus right now. I also think that's o.k. and normal.

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