November 4, 2009

Method III, Part Three

"Reason and logic do not satisfy our emotional needs."
--Haim Ginott

Something isn't working for me and I feel like I'm losing.

You may remember that the point of the No-Lose Method is that no one feels like they are losing. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

We needed to come up with a new computer schedule. The main reason being that it was set up primarily by myself, and I wanted to have something we both came up with. The second reason was the change in B's days off. Robotson wanted some time for just himself and dad to play on the computer, which could no longer happen on the weekends. The three of us sat down together. This conflict resolution was harder because B isn't familiar with the steps, and I felt like I had to be in charge while not trying to get my own way. It was very difficult to stay focused.

Our needs:
Robotson needed time for him and dad.
B needed to know when to be available.
I needed to cut back the hours of computer use and to stop having to argue about getting off.
Some solutions:
Scheduling computer time in the evenings.
Being able to use the computer all weekend.
Using the computer time during the day instead of at night.
Having no limits at all.
Getting on at 6pm instead of 7pm.
Having no days with unlimited screen time.
New guidelines for when the laptop could be used.
We came up with a schedule that we agreed to try out for two weeks.
Sunday - All day, laptop only until 6:30p.m.
Monday - 7-11p.m. can use laptop
Tuesday - 7-10p.m. no laptop
Wednesday - During the day, after schoolwork (as time allows) until 7p.m. no laptop
Thursday - 7-10p.m. no laptop
Friday - No computer
Saturday - All day laptop until 7:30p.m.
It is still a lot of computer time, but actually less overall compared to what he had before. But...it's still not working for me. These are the things that are still bothering me:

1. I do not like him spending all day on the computer during the weekends. It's too sedentary, his eyes get all bloodshot from staring at the screen so much, and I don't feel like he's using his brain enough.

2. We've scheduled specific time for him and B on Tuesday. I feel like the additional time on Wednesday is more than I'm willing to agree to right now. I don't want to be doing chores and taking care of the girls while they play computer games all day.

Reevaluation is tomorrow. We'll see how that goes.

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