Last night before I went to sleep I challenged myself to find only positive perspectives on Monday. If I couldn't think of anything good to say, I was just going to keep quiet. Oh how many times did I hear that as a child? It's a hard lesson to learn though.
I can't remember every moment of the day now, but I know I was pretty spot on all morning and into the afternoon. There were a few slip-ups in the evening, but I think I accomplished what I wanted; just be more aware of the things that I say. Interestingly, as I was saying less - I heard more. Much of what I heard was exactly the sort of stuff I was avoiding myself. There were a lot of "you" statements and major drama over small issues. Clearly this is something that I need to change in myself, but it's just as important that I model it for the rest of the family.
I know thinking before you speak is common sense. I also know that not everything can or should be glossed over. But 99% of the time whatever is going on is just not worth that much energy, especially if it's negative. Ten minutes later, the next day, in 20 years - most of it won't matter. I'd rather spend my time looking for solutions, not sweating the small stuff, and being benignly neglectful.