I've noticed that even though I know when I need to be more mindful, it's not as easy as just saying I will do it and everything falls into place. For example, right after I posted last week, we went to the GUST meeting and I found myself talking a lot. I realized I was doing it too, but it seemed hard to stop. So I began to wonder why and think maybe one reason is that all day I'd had no adult conversations. I love my kids dearly, but their conversations tend to be about Daft Punk and princesses; I need a little bit more than that. Tonight we stopped over at Kitmama's and not only did I find myself talking, but I was mentally comparing as well. Not bad comparisons. I love her house in the same ways that I love Mo's house - they are lived in. It's their imperfections that touch me. So I was trying to put a finger on what it is about their homes that feels so wonderful and how can I get it at my house? But a comparison is a comparison, even if the intentions are good. I should focus on what makes my house feel like home when I am there, because that's where I live.
So writing about mindfulness doesn't mean I am very good at it. I hope at the end of my life I will be able to look back and see an improvement, but I'm not going for perfection with every Monday posting. Accepting my own imperfections is part of feeling at home in myself - another area in which I need to be more mindful. It's a process.