Everyone is writing about gender right now. I might as well pop in with my .02.
My son goes by Nicky.
My oldest daughter wanted her hair cut short "like a boy" for over a year, and finally went really short like the girl in Megamind.
My youngest loves all things princess and Barbie.
My son is really into robots and Daft Punk.
My oldest daughter wanted her ears pierced when she was four.
My youngest daughter loves to push the limits and be a little bit scared.
My son really enjoys literature and loved Anne of Green Gables, Little Women, and Luv Ya Bunches as much as "boy" titles, maybe more.
My oldest daughter plays robot wars with her brother and house with her sister.
My youngest daughter prefers pants to all other forms of clothing. She hates skirts.
My son had begged for the princess Dora with hair that grew for his fourth birthday. It was all he wanted and he took it everywhere for a while. He also had other dolls though he never played house.
My daughters had toy cars when they were little. They loved trains and dinosaurs too.
My oldest daughter looked great in blue, so I found a lot of blue dresses for her when she was little.
My youngest daughter is pink all the way. She's a total girly-girl.
All of the kids watch all of the movies whether they are princesses, robots, action, or drama. They love them all.
All of my kids know that men can wear makeup, have long hair, get their ears pierced, and wear dresses and skirts.
All of my kids know that women can have short hair, wear suits, and have big muscles.
They also know that generally speaking men and women fall in love, but men do fall in love with men and women fall in love with women too.
My point is that we've never made much of a deal about boy stuff and girl stuff. We aren't perfect of course, but we try. I think you can go from the one extreme of boxing your children into their gender stereotype to refusing to tell anyone whether they are a boy or a girl so they can make up their own mind. They are going to know either way, I bet.
I don't care about the gender wars and I'm hoping that in the end, neither will my kids.