July 8, 2012

Still figuring things out

There is one aspect of unschooling that I haven't embraced fully.  It's the idea that you can give all kids access to all things and they will learn to self-regulate.  The theory goes that people learn to self-regulate by being given opportunities to do so.  This makes sense to me.  What I struggle with is that all kids can do this with all things.  I don't think there is ever a one size fits all approach.  In our family, I think my son struggles with this the most.  I think he's learning and getting better all of the time, but I think he needs limits on certain things that overstimulate him.  I also think that he needs to learn how to deal with his emotions when he doesn't get what he wants or does get overstimulated as part of the process.  Often our lives are filled with his emotional reactions to things and it's very disruptive. 

 On the other hand, I think Funny Girl is very good at self-regulation on her own.  This means that I parent each of them very differently.  Dimples falls somewhere in between, which is a whole other parenting style.  

Sometimes I feel like I have no idea where I am getting it wrong or right.  Sometimes I take it personally when I read a blog where the writer seems to have it all figured out.  Sometimes I wonder if that's how I come across to others.  Well, let me reassure you.  I haven't got it all figured out.


  1. Thank you for this! I can totally relate. Some days I feel very confident, and then there are some days where I start to have doubts about how we're doing. My oldest son's personality sounds very similar to your son's - especially with the emotional reactions to things. I know how frustrating and agonizing it can be, trying to figure out how to deal with that and help him through it.

  2. Sometimes the only thing that gets me through is knowing that it's a marathon and each day is one step closer to raising a compassionate and empathetic son. I know that's what all of these emotions are really there for. He just needs help learning to focus them. In some ways, our jobs as mothers to these boys is the hardest of all. :)