Raising Three Thinkers

Life and Death

2012-02-07T00:54:00.000-05:00

Despite the many atheist references in the sidebars, you've probably noticed I actually blog about religion/atheism very little. I've mentioned before that this is because it rarely comes up in our daily lives. B and I weren't religious people that decided to cut ties with our church after we questioned our beliefs. Neither of us grew up in particularly religious families and we discussed our beliefs (or lack thereof) well before we had kids. So it's never been a major focus in our lives.

Yet where there is life, there is also death. A huge part of religion is what happens after you have lived. Atheists think death is the end; there is nothing more. So here I am writing this not knowing exactly what the future holds, but with the deep sadness of loss all the same. My father-in-law was diagnosed in November with acute myeloid leukemia. He has been getting the best care available through Emory, but he's had a really rough time. Tomorrow he will be going home for hospice care to help him be as comfortable as possible until the end.

My FIL has been living with my SIL during this time. I know this will be the hardest for her. She's been right there through everything. I've always known her to have amazing strength, but what she's done over the past few months is nothing short of heroic.

It's been a tough day for all of us, and we are all dealing with it differently. It was very hard to tell the kids. Robotson was so upset. He hates cancer, it's not fair, and he doesn't want this to be happening. Dimples cried. Funny Girl asked a lot of questions, but she's not reacting emotionally right now. Because we've talked with the kids about death before, they have an understanding that this will be the end. They don't think there is anything after death, so the question of what happens to his body came up. He wants to be cremated and his ashes taken to the top of Stone Mountain and released.

Kids don't have the same reactions to death that adults have though. B and I think and talk about it constantly, but the kids are doing their normal kid stuff. The girls played and watched t.v. most of the day, while Robotson kept his mind busy to avoid it. I can understand his reaction because it's what I do in stressful situations as well. I think I should make an effort to embrace my feelings though.

The next several days will be hard. I think back to my wedding day and the births of all of my children; my FIL is always present. I think about how he would play with the kids, watch football with B, and always made me feel lucky to have such wonderful in-laws. I feel like the kids right now. It's not fair and I don't want this to be happening. Right now it doesn't seem to matter how I thought about death and dying beforehand. Being in the middle of it, there is no comfort. It just hurts.

Homeschool Days 2/4/12

2012-02-04T19:16:00.000-05:00

I don't think I can do anything but laugh at my ever-lengthening post frequency. These are probably boring posts to read anyway, so I'm not going to worry about it.

Over the last couple of weeks we've kept fairly busy, made a few changes in our schedule, and are attempting to find a rhythm again. It's a frustrating reality that we can't seem to do everything we want to do. We love having friends over, but then we don't get a chance to sit down together for reading or computer stuff. My sister asked me last week about socialization (again) and I was just so flabbergasted. At the time she asked there were five additional kids over (plus her and another mom). Not for the first time, I am feeling like we over-socialize as some sort of proof that as homeschoolers we are just as good as public schooling families. Housekeeping is a major PITA because if we don't keep on top of it, it just gets out of hand. Most days I want to throw 90% of what we own into the trash. And there are just some things that need to be done on a weekly basis at least, vacuuming, bathrooms, the kitchen. It's never ending. As you can probably tell, I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed right now. We are just going to have to continue looking for a balance.

We recently changed our free days to Sunday and Monday. These are days where I have promised the kids that I won't make any plans for them. They can use the electronics all day and stay up late at night. These are our "radical unschooling" days. It also helps us go into Tuesday park days with less interruption in our flow.

So that's a lot about what we haven't been doing. I should probably write about what we have accomplished.

I signed the kids back up in Time4Learning. They were asking me nearly every day when I was going to do it, so I figured they really meant it. Of course, we haven't been home enough to dig in yet. I guess I'll bring it up tomorrow and see what they want to do.

We've had a lot of friends over in the past couple of weeks so most of our days have been spent cleaning before and after, with playing in between. On the upside, I think Robotson is doing much better getting along with different kids.

We are participating in a Valentine's exchange for the first time this year. Since it's our first, I wanted to do something a little more than boxed cards. However, the task was a bit daunting because there are 39 kids participating! Still I figured if we started early, and picked simple crafts, we'd be able to finish on time. Funny Girl and Dimples have finished theirs with a little help from me in the name writing. Robotson will start his next week.

Books

We are *still* reading Coraline and Odd and the Frost Giants. Both seem really interesting to me, but the kids don't seem to agree. Of course, I can't seem to finish my own books these days either, so I shouldn't really give them a hard time. The books need to go back to the library this week though, so we are going to have to push through them.

Robotson and I started Magyk this week, but only read one day.

Funny Girl and the Tooth Fairy

2012-01-31T11:04:00.000-05:00

Funny Girl lost her first two teeth this month. The first one was quite a surprise actually. We were on our way to Girl Scouts and she was trying to open her thermos cup by using her teeth. Unfortunately, they weren't very strong anymore and she ended up ripping one of them out. We'd known she had a loose tooth there on the bottom, but it wasn't the one we were expecting to come out. That previously loose one was still in there, but just barely. Two weeks later it came out when she accidentally got hit in the face with a toy. Honestly I think a good breeze would have knocked it out at that point.

Never quite sure what the going rate is for tooth fairies, but we have settled on a dollar coin and a small toy. The girls are very into Squinkies so this works out perfectly. I got a pack at on sale with enough to cover all of her baby teeth.

So that first tooth was a really big deal and she was very excited to leave it under her pillow. None of my kids wants the tooth fairy to keep their teeth though. I'm fine with this, they are their teeth after all. Robotson kept, and lost most of his. I expect Funny Girl will eventually lose hers as well, but I've come to terms with this. My mom kept all of my teeth and then a few years ago asked me if I wanted them. As an adult I could see no reason to keep them so I figured there's no harm in letting them have them if they want them now.

When she left her second tooth though she asked me some questions about the tooth fairy - like how does she know when kids are asleep? I answered that she would check to make sure before leaving anything. Then I asked her how big she thought the tooth fairy might be and her answer "As big as you, Mommy." Interesting! So I asked her what she thought she might look like. She said she wasn't sure, so I told her that the tooth fairy can be anything she wants her to be. Then I kissed her goodnight and a few hours later, after checking to see that she was asleep, I left her a coin and a Squinkie next to her tooth.

Homeschool Days 1/23/12

2012-01-23T17:27:00.000-05:00

Notice how my posts are getting further apart? Frustrating that I can't keep to a simple schedule.

All the days from last week seem to have run together. It's a blur of books, cooking/baking, andValentine's day projects, sprinkled with exercise, sleep, park day, and girl scouts. This week is just as booked. Oh and it's been raining for days, so I'm constantly nursing a sinus headache. I'll be happy to see the sun again.

This post looks so little. I truly think I spent 4-5 hours a day in the kitchen this week trying out some new vegan meals, and baking breads and cookies. Hopefully I'll be able to settle down into some kind of manageable meal plan because I can't keep up the cooking.

We also found several nifty things on the Interwebs to occupy us for a little while each day. Nothing stands out right now though.

So that was our week.

Books

Robotson and I finished Little Town on the Prairie and have moved on to Darth Paper Strikes Back.

Funny Girl and I are still reading Coraline. The book club meeting for this month was cancelled because of a Girl Scout event, but that gives us some more time to read. Plus the girls are really into GS right now.

Dimples and I got into limericks and were reading Limericks by Lear and Grimericks.

Other books we've been reading this week are not really worth mentioning, more Berenstein Bears and a couple of early readers. We are about halfway through Odd and the Frost Giants.

The King Center

2012-01-16T09:17:00.001-05:00

Last Thursday we took a field trip to The King Center in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. day. It was a beautiful, crisp day and the kids were all excited to learn more about Dr. King. Dimples was truly fascinated by the story of his life and death. She wanted to see pictures of everything: his children, him being arrested for nonviolent protest, and his death. Having never been there before, I wasn't sure what to expect. Turns out the King Center is very well laid out over a block or two with many different things to see from his birth home and Ebenezer Church, to an interactive museum, and a walk-through history of the civil rights movement. As usual I took pictures so I'll leave you to visually walk you through our field trip. You'll see that Dimples got to see everything she wanted and more!

We met at the reflecting pool where Dr. King and his wife are buried.

The Eternal Flame

The museum had an interactive part where you could listen, watch, or read some of Dr. King's speeches. Dimples beelined for the beautiful iMac displays. She and Robotson understood how to use them better than the staff! Next to the computers were sheets of paper where you could write down your own dream. Then you had it photographed and posted to their wall of dreams. Robotson's dream was to become a famous DJ so he could remix Dr. King's speeches with music that people would want to listen to. Many of the kids filled out dreams, but I missed them.

Dimples listening to I Have a Dream.

Photographing their dreams.

Upstairs at the museum there were rooms dedicated to Rosa Parks, Mr. and Mrs. King, and Gandhi.

A timeline of Mrs. King's life.

Next we went to sit in Ebenezer Baptist Church. The church is no longer used, but they have sermons by Dr. King playing so that you can sit and imagine what it might have been like to be there at the time. I loved both of these pictures and couldn't decide which to use, so you get to seem them both.

Kunta Kinte

Our last stop was a walk-through history of the civil right movement featuring Dr. King's work.

Dimples was very moved by this display and his loss of freedom
for fighting for a right that seems so obvious to her.

This photos in this room are of the events leading up to, during,
and after Dr. King's assassination. There were two photos from
right after the shot. There was also a photo of the family around
the open casket. These were of great interest to Dimples, not in
a morbid way, but as if to convince her of the reality.

The most powerful image, in my opinion.

We had lunch in front of a beautiful mural before heading back to the car. There was still plenty to look and talk about as we went.

I have to say this was an excellent start to the new year. Everyone at The King Center was friendly and helpful. The kids each got a beautiful magnifying glass as a souvenir and Robotson got a complimentary pencil and pin after looking longingly over the items in the gift shop several times. There were also some super funny quotations made by Dimples during the tour. One was after entering the Gandhi room and she says "Gandhi doesn't look so good." Another was when referring to Dr. King's death, she said "I'm sorry that the king died, but at least the queen lived."

Afterwards we met at a vegan bakery in town for a little treat before the long drive home. I highly recommend Dulce Vegan Bakery if you are ever in Atlanta. Super yum!!

Homeschool Days 1/15/12

2012-01-15T22:22:00.000-05:00

Ah, well this week did not go exactly as planned. I can never seem to figure out how to juggle all of my balls and something always falls to the wayside. In this case, I didn't manage my time for grocery shopping wisely and needed to catch up on that which basically lost me two days. As I've previously mentioned, it's difficult to plan meals (now vegan) that we will all eat, and I felt like I'd hit a wall. I did finally manage to pull some recipes together. I have to admit the food was yummy when we finally got around to eating said planned meals too. Unfortunately Tuesday and Wednesday were sort of messed up by our van breaking down. Well not the van really, it was just a sensor, but because it wasn't working properly the van would not move. So instead of going to the park on Tuesday we waiting around for AAA and B to rescue the girls and I from a nearby shopping center. Finally home from all of the excitement I was not inclined to do anything other than exercise and curl up with a book. Wednesday we had to take the van to the Kia dealership to fix the sensor. Another all day adventure that left me not interested in much else. So we invited some friends over for dinner and goofed off for the evening. Thursday we got up bright and early for our first field trip of the month to The King Center (blog post to follow) and had a wonderful day all around. Friday and Saturday are our days off. The kids watched Rocko's Modern Life all day - literally, and I caught up on all of those recipes I hadn't made all week. That brings us to today where I've sort of found my bearings again, but we'll see how things go. I really need to get these children to a park. Hopefully the weather will work with me (and my van, of course.)

Books

Composting: Nature's Recyclers by Robin Koontz

We've been composting for a while now, but this talks about the different creatures that benefit from a compost heap and explains why it might look or smell weird. If you are thinking about starting to compost, this is a good way to introduce it to your kids.

Math Potatoes by Greg Tang

Another math book for Dimples. She just likes to count one by one, but I try to show her how the poem suggests to count faster. She's not that interested, but she's only four.

Dwarf Planets: Pluto, Charon, Ceres, and Eris by Nancy Loewen

My kids are young enough that they don't really care that Pluto was "demoted" to a dwarf planet. Still it's fun to read about space and this is a good introduction to the other dwarf planets. Honestly, I thought a couple of those were moons, so I learned something too.

Ouch! How Your Body Makes it Through a Very Bad Day by Richard Walker

This one came with a cd of videos for some of the bad things that happen. You get to see computerized vomit come back up, a mosquito in an ear, and the need to urinate from the inside. The kids enjoyed the videos so much they let me read the entire book to them! It took us an hour, yet still kept everyone interested. They asked a lot of questions too, so I think this one is definitely worth checking out.

Tomie dePaola's Book of Poems

While at the Kia dealership there was another mom there with a book by Tomie dePaola. I think it was a nursery tales one. The kids listened while she read a story to her son. Since they enjoyed it so much I tried to find it at our library, but it was out. Since Funny Girl is into poetry, I grabbed this one instead. I like that it has poems that do not rhyme as well as ones that do. Personally, I prefer the cadence of rhyming poetry, but Funny Girl has asked me to find her poems that do not rhyme and so there we have it.

Coraline by Neil Gaiman

Funny Girl requested this one after seeing a movie poster at the library. We are reading one chapter per day and so far she's very fond of pointing out the differences in the movie. It's a introduction to discussing why movie adaptations are different. I am hoping to finish this for the book club meeting in case she wants to present.

For next week we are starting Odd and the Frost Giants by Neil Gaiman and Robotson is reading Star Jumper to us as well. He's been very interested in sharing it with us for a while now so I let him have the floor each evening for a chapter.

Poetry by Funny Girl - 1/9/12

2012-01-09T13:59:00.000-05:00

My Roller Coaster

It goes up.

It goes loop, loop.

And it goes up again.

Then it goes down.

It went up slowly, turned upside down, and ZOOM!!

Homeschool Days 1/7/12

2012-01-07T23:31:00.000-05:00

Been a while since I've talked about our days. This might look like a fine start to a New Year's resolution, but I'm not thinking about it in that way. I always want to keep a record of the things we are doing; it IS required by law after all. I'd just fallen out of the habit and now I hope to fall back into it.

I think I can honestly say we are unschooling now. I might have felt a twinge of guilt before with that claim, but we've gone a good amount of time now with complete child-led learning. Each of the kids has something they are really focused on right now and we do a little of that each day together. Dimples is very interested in cooking and usually helps me with at least one meal. She is especially fond of baking. Funny Girl still loves to write. She often asks me to help her spell out words for her stories and poems. Robotson is mixing, remixing, mashing, and composing as usual. He's working on a little online presence on YouTube. It's exciting and scary all at once.

Lately we've jumped back into nightly reading as well as me sitting with the kids one-on-one with a book. I want to get us back to the book club meetings so the girls can get a chance to talk about their books. Right now Robotson and I are reading Little Town on the Prairie. Funny Girl is interested in poetry so we are choosing selections from Classic Poetry: An Illustrated Collection. Dimples was struck by the story of Martin Luther King, Jr. so we read a few about him together: Happy Birthday Martin Luther King, I've Seen the Promised Land: The Life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and Rosa. Rosa is not about MLK, in particular, but Rosa Parks is mentioned in both of the other books so she understood the relevance. We are attending a trip to the MLK Center next week as well.

A few other titles we read this week are:

The Whipping Boy by Sid Fleischman
Prince Brat pulls all kinds of stunts while his whipping boy takes the heat. When the prince decides to run away, taking the whipping boy with him, he learns a few things about friendship and loyalty.

Where Is the Green Sheep? by Mem Fox
This is mostly an opposite book, but it's a little more fun and interesting for an early reader.

Roller Coaster by Marla Frazee
Lots of little things to look at in the pages of this book as you get a first-hand description of a roller coaster ride.

The Legend of the Lady Slipper by Lise Lunge-Larsen and Margi Preus
A young girl makes a dangerous journey to get medicine for her village. On the way back her moccasins are lost and her feet are injured so she leaves bloody footprints in the snow. When they go out to find her moccasins later they find a new flower, the lady slipper orchid, where her footprints had been. The story is similar to Brave Irene.

Harry and the Bucketful of Dinosaurs by Ian Whybrow
Funny Girl says there is a t.v. show based on this book about Harry who finds a box of dinosaurs in the attic. He cleans them up and carries them around in a bucket everywhere he goes. It's a cool book for learning dinosaur names.

The kids are bombarding me with books right now. I guess they were missing our reading time. We've got a lot of good reading coming up in the next several weeks.

There is a lot more stuff going on, but it will have to wait because I want to get some reading in for myself.

New Year Resolutions 2012

2011-12-31T10:17:00.001-05:00

We do not normally do New Year's resolutions. If we want to try something new we usually have better results if we just jump right in. Waiting until some future date generally just gives us time to talk ourselves out of it. However, we are making a family resolution for 2012 - we are giving up soda (and other high-caloric drinks) and eating less dairy, eggs, and fish (the kids are technically pescetarians.) B and I would ultimately like to be vegan, but it's not something we are too concerned about for the kids. The plan is just to try out more vegan recipes, and find out how many we can incorporate into our daily lives with minimal complaining.

Right now I'm checking out blogs, websites, and cookbooks for ideas. With five people it's not always easy to find something that everyone will eat though. Just as an example here is some of what I have to think about: B isn't a big fan of pasta dishes, Funny Girl won't touch salads, Robotson hates beans of any kind. None of the kids will eat tofu, rice, seeds, or nuts. I don't enjoy cooking or baking so I try to find recipes that don't take too much time and are not complicated. It's a little bit daunting to think about how much more time I am going to be spending making food when it sometimes seems like a huge pain just to bake a pizza. Honestly, I think the biggest obstacle in this plan is me. That's why I'm doing so much prep work. Here are a few things I've come up with to help.

I'm checking out vegan cookbooks from the library so that I can try recipes before I spend any money. I have several vegetarian cookbooks that I rarely use because I didn't research them properly.

I've already figured out that I want to stay away from books/blogs that have a lot of recipes with meat or cheese substitutes. They are o.k. here and there, but I want to find ways to cook with the actual food we'll be eating and not processed soy products.

I'm also staying away from recipes with ingredients that are going to be hard to find. I'm pretty well-versed with what our local grocery stores carry. I don't want to add hours of driving and shopping to my list of things to do.

While looking for vegan recipes I've noticed a lot of sweet dessert-y type things. They always sound yummy, but I began to wonder if there was a point to eating vegan if everything was full of sugar. However, the truth is that my kids like sweet stuff and having a few vegan cookies on hand for a snack or blueberry scones for breakfast is not a bad way to go in the beginning. Besides, I have successfully cut the sugar in several recipes or substituted molasses and agave nectar here and there with no one being the wiser.

Here are a few resources that I already use or want to check out:

iPhone apps - Vegan Yum Yum and Whole Foods These are free and have some good stuff in them.

Books - I own and love Vegan Comfort Food. The author, Alicia Simpson, has a couple of other books that I want to get, one for holidays and a new one that is low calorie. I just checked out Vegan Lunch Box and BabyCakes from the library. Unfortunately neither gets very good reviews on Amazon so I may not stick with them. I am trying to get my hands on Vegan Brunch, Viva Vegan, Quick-Fix Vegan, The Mediterranean Vegan Kitchen, and The 30 Minute Vegan. Those all have pretty good reviews. Anyone out there have any opinions they'd like to share?

Blogs - Oh She Glows, Holy Cow! Vegan Recipes, Vegan Guinea Pig, Love Veggies and Yoga (not all of her recipes are vegan, but the ones that are sound so yummy!)

These should get us started. I don't know that we will completely go vegan, but to goal is just to take another step in the direction of eating healthier

Holiday Traditions

2011-12-25T00:00:00.003-05:00

Sometimes the things you picture in your head turn out so different from reality. I've posted before about how I imagined our home school days would look before I actually started doing it. Attentive kids sitting quietly while I filled their little heads with the wonders of the universe. We'd go everywhere and do everything and it would always be fun! How very Mary Poppins of me. It took a long time to let go of that picture even though we never had one single day that went like that. Heck, we never had an hour like that.

So it shouldn't be that surprising that my sugar plum visions of Christmas aren't all that accurate either. Trimming the tree would be a family affair with Christmas music playing in the background. We would read the numerous holiday books that we have accumulated all through December, ending on Christmas Eve with 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. I pictured us baking cookies. Then the kids would get into their pajamas and brush their teeth, before setting the cookies and milk out for Santa. They'll climb into bed and fall asleep while B and I drink egg nog and finish wrapping presents.

But the reality is.....the tree decorating is kind of crazy because the girls want to put everything up at once and can only reach the lowest branches (if you have kids, this isn't news to you.) Robotson generally doesn't want to participate at all. B and I do a lot of explaining, moving, and lifting to even things out a bit. The reading thing rarely happens though we have more holiday books than days in the month now. And B always has to take the little ones to bed so I can finish things up without being spied on.

It used to bother me that none of my fantasies were reality, until I realized that we do have family traditions and they were born from the uniqueness of our family.

No matter how lopsided the ornaments are, the top of our tree always has a Santa hat with Mickey Mouse ears. We do bake cookies. Our family does sugar cookies (this year they were vegan, soft, and oh SO yummy!) and we decorate them with loads of icing and sprinkles. This year we had friends over to help us, see below for pictures! We also leave Santa soda, not milk. This year it's a Barq's Red Creme soda that we have imported from Ohio. It's Santa's personal favorite we've heard. And on Christmas Eve we all sleep upstairs in B's and my room. It's the one night of the year that we are all together so that we see everything together in the morning.

Our traditions aren't the sort that make it into storybooks or movies, but they evolved naturally in our lives and reflect things that are special to us. Every year I learn to appreciate more of what we actually have, and worry less about what is supposedly missing.

Wishing you all a Happy Holiday!

Happy Winter's Solstice!

2011-12-22T19:41:00.000-05:00

While looking for holiday books on Amazon, I came across A Solstice Tree for Jenny. Jenny's parents are atheists (though that term is never actually used) and they don't celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa because of their religious affiliations. Usually they travel during December, but this year they are home and Jenny feels like she's missing something. Fortunately, a teacher at school explains the winter solstice to her and Jenny comes up with a more secular way to celebrate all of the good parts of the holidays, like helping others and being with family and friends.

This is one of those books that I wanted to read with the kids, but they weren't very interested. Robotson has the most experience with my reading out loud so he actually picked up most of the story even while playing with his iPod. I throughly enjoyed it though. In fact, I very much hope that as the girls outgrow Santa, we can begin a tradition of celebrating the winter solstice with a focus on more than ourselves and gifts under a tree. For a while now I've nudged us in the direction of doing more together or for others as opposed to getting or giving things. As everyone knows though, this isn't an easy transition. I loved the ideas from the book, like buying a live tree to decorate instead of killing one by cutting it down. I also loved the little phrases they hung on tree about the things that they believe. Most of all, I liked how Jenny put a jar under the tree to collect money for a cause instead of gifts. I am all for giving gifts, but it's a truly beautiful idea to think beyond yourself. When she has her friends over to see her tree, they are going to notice what is important to Jenny and her family. It could lead to great discussions and open up new ways of thinking.

Maybe that's what is missing from our lives right now. This ......waiting...... for Christmas because all the focus is on us and presents for the kids. I am increasingly less satisfied with the "things" in my life. Next year I want to incorporate a little bit of what Jenny did with her family into our holiday. Perhaps we'll get a living tree. Perhaps we'll make our own ornaments, perhaps we do a collection for a something. But that's the direction I want to move towards - a celebration of life, gratitude, and connectedness with everything around us.

We have the blahs

2011-12-22T00:51:00.000-05:00

Our days are so boring lately. It's not that we don't have anything to do, it's that nothing seems satisfying. So we flit here and there, bickering over everything, staying up too late at night, and always sort of waiting for the next something to happen. I know my mind is turning to mush because while everyone else is posting about important political issues, climate change, health studies, and human rights - I can't even focus on the titles let alone read the actual information. I try to sit down with the kids to read, but they don't want to listen. I try to show them something on the computer, but they tell me it's boring. I try to take them places, but they fight every step of the way. I'm not sure if they are feeling my blahs or vice versa. All I know is I'm so not motivated to do anything right now. I haven't even sent our monthly attendance report in for November. At this point I guess I'll just send two in January.

Meh.....

Honest Conversation with Robotson

2011-12-17T23:49:00.000-05:00

I just had the best conversation with Robotson. I am reading Why Kids Lie: How Parents Can Encourage Truthfulness by Paul Ekman. While my kids do lie, and Robotson has been especially untruthful this past year, the reason I am reading this book is because Paul Ekman was the scientist that Cal Lightman was based on in Lie To Me. I wanted to read all of his books, but could only find two in our library system so I checked out the one above and Telling Lies: Clue to Deceit in the Marketplace, Politics, and Marriage.

The last two chapters in Why Kids Lie were written by Dr. Ekman's wife and at one point she describes a study where they grouped parental discipline into three categories: power assertion (should be obvious), love withdrawal (anger and disappointment but no physical punishment), and induction (calmly explaining consequences of actions on others.) She writes that, "Induction won handily over power assertion and love withdrawal. This means that a child has a better chance of internalizing the lesson and not repeating the behavior. The child who is physically punished for his behavior, or who has love withdrawn, has less chance of incorporating the lesson. The father who explains why missing the curfew worries him has a better chance of inculcating the lesson of responsibility and truth telling than the father who blows up."

I decided to run this idea by Robotson to see what he thought of it. I didn't really expect him to talk much about it since he was in the middle of working on a mashup, but he jumped on it. In fact, I think our conversation was incredibly mature and well-spoken, as if he'd been thinking about it for years. First I asked him which approach he thought would work best and he immediately said that explaining consequences in a calm way was the most effective. He made a point to emphasize calm as the key word. I think B and I do talk a lot about consequences, but I am sure we are rarely very calm. Then I asked him which parents we were and he said I am love withdrawal and B is more power assertion.

Robotson knows I've been reading this book, so I explained that I was wondering, in terms of being more truthful with parents, if the induction method would foster that in him. He said yes. We talked about how a lot of lies are told out of fear of punishment, being yelled at, or sent to his room. But he thinks that if we always approached things calmly that he'd feel less compelled to lie. He said, "I would still feel guilty if you told me calmly that what I did made you feel mad and disappointed, but I wouldn't be afraid." He said he doesn't even really think about telling us a lie, it just comes out when we are really mad at him.

Then we talked a little bit about trust. I explained that it's hard to trust someone who isn't honest. He said it's hard to care about that when you think you are going to get into trouble. I can certainly see his point. I think it goes back to choosing your battles. I know I overreact to minor offenses because they pile up day after day. If I spent more time calmly explaining after the little stuff, then when something major happens that I really do need to correct immediately, he can see the difference in my approach. Right now everything probably sounds the same and probably all gets filtered into the "avoid punishment at any cost" response.

Then I turned the tables and asked him about his own responses to similar situations, for example if one of the girls does something and he confronts them. He was able to see how he was more of a power assertion type and that he would like to change that. He suggested we try to remind each other when we are not taking a calm approach. I think this is a great idea! The key for both of us would be to listen and some of that has to do with how it is approached. In the past I have been known to tell Robotson to calm down in a very agitated and commanding way. I can see how this is probably not going to get me very far, or inspire me to calm down coming from an 11 year old who may have done something to cause me to be angry in the first place.

So overall, I am really enjoying the book. It's a bit dated and there is more research out now about children, and lying in general. One of the most interesting ideas is that liars have more connections in their brains. They are able to connect ideas that don't normally go together or are even based in reality. If you think of that in terms of little kids who are forming new connections at amazing rates, it could be a very normal part of brain development that shouldn't be punished. Instead, we should start the conversations about how honesty is important and how it differs from storytelling. This plus being calm when we are confronted with a lie would probably go a long way in raising truthful kids. At least that's what Robotson and I came up with when we talked about it tonight.

Poetry by Funny Girl (with a little help)

2011-12-14T21:37:00.002-05:00

Inspired by A Child's Garden of Poetry, Funny Girl, B, and I wrote a poem together. Funny Girl came up with the words to rhyme and for the most part wrote the lines, with just a couple of (obvious) exceptions.

I had a cat who wears a hat.

His hat attracted fleas with the greatest of ease.

The cat baked a pie so the fleas would go bye!

I have a mom who smells a spell.

We have lots of stairs and one time she fell.

She spilled a potion that made her shrink.

Too bad it didn't help her think!

She fell on some trash which made a loud crash.

She found a glove that made her love.

She had a spot of tea, then it landed on her knee.

Television rules the nation

2011-11-27T23:38:00.000-05:00

I should probably take notes or something because when I have the time to write I usually can't remember all of the things I want to say. I'm pretty sure I've said that before. B is watching Reel Injun on Netflix as I type, so I am also a bit distracted. It's a sad documentary, but you should take the time to watch it.

Thursday was Thanksgiving, but we didn't pay it much mind. It's not that we don't want to be grateful, but that's a feeling I want to foster all year long. B had to work in the morning anyway. Then we went to the movies before coming home to our traditional veg lasagna, mashed potatoes, and latest pumpkin pie recipe.

Did you know Native Americans never wore headbands? Movie makers needed a way to hold the wigs on the actors. Enter the headband. Wow.

Earlier today I tried to get the kids to watch The Man in the Iron Mask with me before it expires. Dimples stayed with me, Funny Girl was in and out, and Robotson watched with one eye on the computer. The kids love the Musketeers though, so we watch any version we can get out hands on. Dimples asked me to read the books with her. Totally can do.

We've been watching more t.v. in general. My FIL was hospitalized a few weeks ago. B spent a lot of time with him while the kids and I mostly stayed home. It's not that we couldn't go anywhere, but I think none of us really wanted to do much while he was so sick. He's still very sick, but now he's getting treatment so things are better.

It's taking me a really long time to write this; I have a whole new respect for Marlon Brando right now.

Anyway, the past few weeks have had an impact on us. I've had more internal struggles with wanting to have more fun and enjoy more of this thing called life, while caring less about all the drama. Sometimes I think I should put something over my mouth to force me to think before I speak. Is what I'm about to say going to to improve the day? Does it even need to be said at all? I feel like I spend too much time explaining and lecturing. It's definitely not fun.

The show is over. Seriously, go watch it. If you can get your kids to watch it - even better. Watch the faces of the kids in the movie when they see an Indian massacre movie scene for the first time.

I'm not worried about watching too much t.v. right now. There is plenty out there to learn, and right now it seems to happen best when we are moved by images on a screen.

Darwin at Fernbank

2011-11-19T00:05:00.000-05:00

As science lovers, we had to make a trip out to see the Charles Darwin exhibit at Fernbank before it was gone. This time I made sure to buy a family pass so we can go back again and again. I can definitely see this being a once or twice a month thing. Here's a look at our trip with Kitmama and kiddos!

Current typical day around here

2011-11-11T19:12:00.006-05:00

I was reading Penelope Trunk's homeschooling post Day in a Life of a Homeschooler and nearly had a panic attack. Right now I'm feeling very fortunate that I don't need to work! Even still, her day was amazingly busy. I might be able to pull off one of those a month; certainly not every week. It's been a while since I wrote about what we are doing and I thought you might like to see just how unschooly we've become.

We are waking up between 9-11am. The kids fix themselves breakfast. I check all of my social addictions before stumbling out of bed. The kids argue over the iPads (Funny Girl gets priority because of her eye patch) while I make coffee and breakfast for B and I.

Over the next couple of hours I knock out a few chores while the girls manage their fashion stores, bakeries, restaurants, and dragon parks (Math and time management skills woohoo!) Robotson usually builds LEGO robots and DJs his Daft Punk remixes all morning (erm...afternoon.)

The kids remind me that I should fix lunch.

Three or four times a week we head out to a park, field trip, play date, or errands. If we stay home the kids do everything under the sun. Sometimes I am involved, but most of the time I am left to do housework, read, or surf the web. Lately, I've been carving out some time to read to whoever wants to listen. I'm also thinking about making some time to sit with each of them and answer some of the millions of questions they ask each day. We love Google.

Robotson gets on the computer at 4pm to make music for the rest of the evening, while Dimples helps me make dinner. Then the kids take turns picking t.v shows to watch. This week it's been Mythbusters, Romeo & Juliet, and Barbie Fashion Fairytale. They all watch each others picks.

At midnight I tell them to turn everything off and send them to bed.

One big change you may have noticed is the lack of assigned chores that was sort of a staple of our lives for the past 5 years. I just got tired of fighting about them all the time. I threw away all of the charts and when/thens that I had. Now I just ask for help as I need it. I don't always get it, but I think it happens a little more often and without some of the fighting. I hope as time goes on this will only get better.

JDRF Walk 2011

2011-10-31T22:52:00.000-04:00

Start

Dimples and PapaBear. Dimples walked 90% on her own!

The Bears

Besties

Walking

ThunderBear

End

ThunderBear

ThunderBear beats Brother Bear!

BooBoo Bear

Funny Girl vs. Dimples

Babyman enjoying a sugar-free popsicle

Beautiful fall colors for the walk.

Cotton Candy!

Chillaxin'

Loved their shirts.

Balloons for the kids.

So tired, maybe we'll just lay here a while longer.

MamaBear and PapaBear

Sisterly love

Me!

Finally on our way home.

We had a great time at the walk. The weather was perfect and the company even better. Looking forward to next year!

One Little Spark

2011-10-22T13:45:00.002-04:00

This is a pretty amazing video of a whale decomposition done with paper cut-outs and puppets that we got from our homeschool loop. It has sparked some great conversations with the kids on life and death. The girls asked to see something real decompose, so we watched the video of the baby pig (it's pretty graphic, click with care.) Robotson was pretty intrigued with it some years ago.

Whale Fall (after life of a whale) from Sharon Shattuck on Vimeo.

We also talked about the possibility of living forever and where we came from. What happens to our bodies after we die, and what choices we have in the matter. I am always impressed by how well my children take the idea of death. They get sad to think about their loved ones being gone of course, but they don't seem frightened of death and the unknown. The girls are now watching Nova scienceNow with Neil deGrasse Tyson on Where Did We Come From? Which in turn sparks more and more questions. This is fun!

Simple Steps

2011-10-09T12:22:00.003-04:00

When B and I first went vegetarian we ate everything that was not an animal, and a lot of junk food is not meat. Most people, when they think vegetarian, think thin healthy people. Be honest, I bet you do. While B and I managed to lose some weight after the switch (not from any effort just from the diet change) it certainly wasn't enough to make us healthy. This is sort of how I feel right now about our unschooling. I finally let go of anything I was holding on to that had me pushing learning, but we aren't in a healthy place and I know it.

I feel a little lost and uninspired to "enrich" our environment. It's not the kids I am worried about, it's me. What am I doing with my days? Am I setting a good example of how to spend my time wisely? Am I learning or am I slacking off every day? I'm not sure right now. It's an uncomfortable feeling, but I like that I am aware of it. We are coming into the busiest part of the year, made busier for us with two birthdays. We are doing low-key this year. I feel like the one thing I can focus on right now is keeping it simple.

Live Music!

2011-09-24T20:26:00.000-04:00

"Did you feel like an irresponsible parent bringing your kids in here?" This was one of the first things a friend asked me when we arrived at the Masquerade last night with all three kids in tow. We've been on a concert kick this year. Usually the shows don't allow kids, but I took Robotson to see That1Guy in March and we took him to the Identity Festival last month. The girls really wanted to see a show and this one was a perfect choice for them. So the answer to my friend's question is no way! I'm pretty certain little kids aren't the norm at this venue, but the staff and the fans were all awesome about it. I got several compliments for the kids and myself for being such a cool parent. It wasn't just our kids either. This show was That1Guy and Pogo, so of course Kit and family were there, plus Papa Bear and Brother Bear, as well as another family from our homeschool group.

That1Guy was awesome, as usual! All of the kids danced to most of his set. Let me tell you, we've got some groovy kids in our group. Then Pogo came out and I have to admit, I didn't realize how much I was going to enjoy his live show. We've been Pogo fans since he released Alice. That link might not work for long because Disney has since had him take down a lot of his early stuff, but you can see his current work on YouTube here. He's really fantastic! The kids got to hear all of their favorites; they'll be talking about this show for years.

Everyone else had left by the end of Pogo's set, but the kids were intent on meeting him. It was so cute to hear Dimples tell me "When Nick (Pogo's real name) is done DJ'ing, I'm going to invite him to my birthday party." So after the show we sat on the stage and waited for Nick to get through the line of fans so we could talk to him. I'm not sure what time it was by the time we left, but we closed the place down.

There were so many great moments last night. Dimples got a signed poster from TIG, which had to be put up on her wall above her bed first thing today. Funny Girl really wanted a t-shirt which she bought on her own. Robotson talked music with both Mike (T1G) and Nick. Nick gave him some really wonderful advice to do what he loves. He said when he made Alice, he didn't really know where it would lead, but he loved it. He was asking Robotson if he had a Facebook account or some place he shared his work so he could check it out! I wish Robotson would share his stuff a little more. I've tried to encourage him, maybe this will help.

As we were finally leaving, we passed a man playing the trumpet outside of the Masquerade. The kids asked about him and we explained that he is homeless. They were devastated to hear that and wanted to help. They all agreed that everyone should have a home. Today when we met my parents at Costco, Dimples asked my dad if he knew that some people didn't have a home and wasn't that just terrible?

An Unschooling School?

2011-08-31T12:05:00.000-04:00

I just finished reading Sir Ken Robinson's The Element. He talks about education at the end of the book and mentions the Reggio approach.

"The curriculum is child-directed; teachers take their lessons where student interests dictate. The setting of the school is vitally important and considered an essential teaching tool. Teachers fill the rooms with dramatic play areas, worktables, and multiple environments where the kids can interact, problem-solve, and learn to communicate effectively."

He goes on, " Reggio teachers build the school year around weeklong short-term projects and yearlong long-term projects in which students make discoveries from a variety of perspectives, learn to hypothesize, and discover how to collaborate with one another, all in the context of a curriculum that feels a great deal like play. The teachers consider themselves researchers for the children, helping them to explore more of what interests them, and they see themselves as continuing to learn alongside their pupil."

If we had a school like that even remotely close to us, I would enroll my kids in a heartbeat. That's the unschooliest school I've ever heard of.

More Unschool-y

2011-08-30T10:34:00.000-04:00

This summer we moved even further into the unschooling realm. This is sort of a taboo statement in the unschooling subculture. Some of the blogs that I read have never used a different method. Their advice is (queue Yoda voice) Do or do not. There is no try. Rarely are things so simple. Though we've never used a curriculum and I've never had success at forcing Robotson into anything, the truth is that we weren't/aren't 100% unschooling. Blah, blah,why am I even waxing on? Well I don't really know, but it relates to when I think about blogging what we are doing. I wonder if I am typing it all out as a justification that the kids are learning something. Despite reading and agreeing that learning can be a more organic process, apparently putting that into practice is going to be a slow process. I think we move closer each year and I think we made a huge leap this summer. That's what I meant with that first sentence. In one way I feel a little guilty that I can't force myself to be comfortable faster for Robotson's sake. On the other hand, I know that I am doing the best that I can and that has to be good enough. It's like learning how to be mindful and take care of my temper. Yes, I'd love to just be present and calm, but right now it's a lot of practicing and mistakes.

Though no one person can or should be the only authority on any given topic, I did feel a bit better after reading this last week on Sandra Dodd's blog. She says the more restrictions you have the further kids will push things if you let everything go at once. So maybe moving slowly until unschooling is a good thing. I would't say we even have a lot of rules right now, some would claim we have none, but I know I haven't let go completely. So what did we do differently this summer and what rules are still in place?

This summer we went to more park days, play dates, field trips, took two vacations, and did a lot of swimming. All of these things "take away" from being at home "doing school." First there is a lot of driving involved and in some cases we didn't make it back home for days. This is big because normally I don't like to be out of the house (introvert), but also because being out means we aren't doing the things I generally accepted as educational. To further the weirdness I signed the kids up to do more things outside of the house after the summer: Girl Scouts and soccer. I'm still trying to figure out how we became that family that is rarely home because of all their outside commitments. Even though I really enjoy our days at home, I must admit that being out in the world feels more productive than playing around the house.

As much as I enjoy the idea of radical unschooling, that is something we definitely are not. A few of the house rules that remain in effect are: no t.v. or Wii before 5pm, the computer time has time limits, and bedtimes are 10pm. We do have free days where they can watch t.v. all day and stay up late though. There are still chore requirements and (parent enforced) consequences for behavior. Not every unschooler is radical, of course. But I do really like the idea that maybe one day even those few things will be how we used to do it.

And here's one more Sandra Dodd quotation that I thought was relevant to this summer.

"We have learning all the time; no waiting. Neither parents nor children need to "lead" learning, if the environment is flowing and rich."

She's got a good point there.

About a year ago...

2011-08-11T17:49:00.000-04:00

Robotson took his first standardized test and I promised to update with the results. Yes, it's been nearly a year. Sorry about that. You might want to check out the (long) post I wrote about it at the time before I get started on his scores.

One of the reasons it took me so long to write about this is the first test results we got back were incorrect and I had to get them regraded. The other reason is simple procrastination. I just didn't feel like writing about it after a while, and so I didn't.

What do I mean by the first results were incorrect? I honestly didn't care that much how he did on the test, but I found it very curious that he should have landed at the 1% national percentile ranking in science. He was also shockingly low in word analysis. I didn't hover over him during the test, but I found it highly unlikely that he could have done so poorly. Yet his spelling score was 68%? Spelling is his worst area. There was no way. I still probably wouldn't have called had I not noticed that the sheet said he hadn't answered every question. In word analysis it said he marked 15 out of 30, in language expression 27 out of 48. I had made photo copies of the answer sheet so I knew he'd answered every question. That's when I called. The lady realized there had been a mistake and sent me the new results a couple of weeks later.

Final results? He did well in the areas I thought he would and not so well in the areas where I though he wouldn't. His spelling and grammar were the lowest (12% and 9%), which makes sense because I did most of the reading. As he took over his own reading last year those two areas improved. There was less I had to correct in his blogging and stories.

He was lower than the average third grader in word analysis, language expression, math concepts, and social studies. I remember looking at the social studies section and thinking we'd never talked about any of those things. There were questions about jobs and pilgrims. We've just focused on different areas like civics and pioneering, the revolutionary war, etc.

He scored very well in vocabulary, language comprehension, math computation (82% his highest), and science.

Overall he was smack dab in the middle in the national ranking (whatever that really means.) His average grade level was 3.5. Whoop de doo. So we'll do it all again after the 6th grade and I'll probably care even less.

And look, it's not that I don't wish he was scoring in the 90th percentile in everything so I could brag about how awesome homeschooling is and how awesome we are. It's just that he's a normal kid not an uber-genius, and he took that test with zero preparation and without ever using a curriculum. That should maybe say something about testing and the emphasis we place on it. Most of all, my wish for him came true - from the end of the original post:

"He still loves learning, and as long as it doesn't "feel like school" he's always interested in what's going on around him."

He is.

It's DOI Time

2011-08-09T23:32:00.000-04:00

Our new school year is about to begin, but only in terms of record keeping. The day-to-day routine (if you can calling it that) won't change. Robotson thinks of himself as an upcoming fifth grader even though I have no idea what fifth graders should be studying. In Time4Learning he's in several different levels depending on the subject, but we don't use it as a way to keep up with grade work. It's just another tool in the box. Funny Girl will be six this year, but I won't do a DOI until next September right before she turns seven because I don't have to. She's a couple of "lessons" from moving into K on T4L (just for comparison's sake.)

I don't know what we'll be doing this year. I guess that sounds lazy, but it's the truth. There will be field trips, book club meetings, park days and playdates. I'm sure we'll do a lot of reading and even more online. Robotson will continue to remix Daft Punk, Dimples will draw, and Funny Girl will write. I know we'll do more together as a family with B working from home, but we'll also do more individual activities as Funny Girl tries Daisies and both girls try soccer. And I guess if I had to set a couple of goals for this year they would be:

Robotson

- Support him as he learns how to be a gentleman.
- Help him take care of his anger.
- Help him practice mindfulness.
- Help him nourish his body and find a healthy balance with food.

Funny Girl

- Help her navigate her growing emotions.
- Support her while she deals with the difficulties with her vision.
- Make sure she gets the time with me that she still needs, but is often asked to give up.

Dimples

- Help her find the words she needs when the frustrations of being four are too big for her.
- Help her to take a breath when she's worried.

For all three:

- Allow them the freedom to learn and explore the things that are important to them.

Funny, those sound more like goals for myself than for them. I guess that makes sense. I can only control my actions and responses and my job is to guide and support them. I'm less interested in math levels or the ability to write book reports. Being mindful, empathetic, healthy individuals are the only real goals I have for my children. It's kind of exciting!

Digital Citizenship for Kids

2011-08-03T15:42:00.000-04:00

Robotson has recently made some virtual friends by getting involved in online gaming sites (specifically for kids, and with parental oversight). Navigating this online world is exciting for him because he can share his enthusiasm for robots, Daft Punk, and LEGO-like building creations in one place. It's like he's found his own little niche on the web. There are other benefits that he doesn't realize, but that I see. He's able to chat with other kids that only know him in his element. They haven't seen him meltdown because his emotions overwhelmed him. They don't know that he struggles to keep his temper from getting the best of him. They don't see the kid who struggles with self-esteem and finding his place in the social hierarchy. They just accept him as someone who is knowledgable because that is who he is in that world. And I see him growing a little as he finds his place there. I think anyone who has ever used the Internet knows how nice it can be to show only the parts of yourself that you like. It's freeing to have friends and family that accept your total self, but when you are still working on the hard bits and they sometimes overshadow your wonderful bits it's nice to have an escape. At least I've always thought so, and I think it's the same for Robotson.

That's not to say that I think being online is simple and without consequences; it's not. Fortunately both B and I are well versed in social media and have already discussed the most important aspects to keep our kids safe. Kids can be online, safe, and retain their privacy relatively easily if you follow a few basic precautions. Our house rules for Internet usage are as follows:

- No Internet devices in non-common areas. This is the biggest, most important, and will be the hardest to maintain rule. There will be no computers in bedrooms or behind locked doors. Unfortunately, with handheld devices becoming more prevalent it's going to be more of an issue. For example, Robotson already wants to save his money to buy the new iTouch. I don't mind his buying one, but he won't be allowed to take it to his room if he wants to access the Internet. We have the ability to block any IP address through the router so he'll need to make a choice. He can follow the rule and keep it in the common area or he can use it as a larger iPod. The number one way to keep kids safe is to know what they are doing. That doesn't mean I will stand over him while he chats, but it's hard to get into something you aren't supposed to when mom and dad could walk by at any moment.

- Use only age-appropriate websites. Many of Robotson's friends are getting on to Facebook, but he is not. By the terms of service you must be 13 years old to sign up, but that aside you are required to use your real name and we don't do that. Even if his account was locked down tight, it's still a risk. Nothing on the Internet is 100% safe. Facebook, Twitter, Google+ - none of these are for 10 year olds, IMO. Two sites that we have allowed the kids to become familiar with are YouTube and Blogger. Sometimes the benefits outweigh the risk, though we are still very careful. Robotson makes a lot of music and it can be a good tool for sharing his work - as is the blog. On the other hand, there are websites specifically for kids. The good ones have parental settings so an adult can choose the level of interaction. Parents don't get to spy on their kids, but they can familiarize themselves with the site and understand the environment. You can (and should) log in and look around to see that the site is living up to it's safety commitments.

- Teach your children about Internet safety and etiquette. There are a lot of websites for kids on these topics, but parents need to understand them too. B and I have enough online experience that we can help Robotson deal with trolls, avoid flame wars, not give personal information to strangers, and to take a breather when necessary. But we must also be empathetic and patient. Just like all parts of growing up kids need to be able to trust that they can come to their parents when they need help. If you aren't willing to listen when their online crush breaks their heart or while they rant about some troll that keeps bugging them, then they will stop telling you what they do online. They will make mistakes; help them learn from those moments and you'll both be better for it.

Here are some great sites to help you:

Webonauts Internet Academy

Internet Learning Lab

NetSmartzKids

BrainPOP - this one is not completely free, but what is is still good.

WoogiWorld

I think the most important thing is to let them enjoy their online experiences and make connections with others. The horror stories we hear are the exceptions, not the rules. The Internet is too important and too vast to be kept from our children. Just be safe, open, and active with your kids and they should be fine.

Water

2011-08-01T11:38:00.042-04:00

This summer's theme was water. Scorching temperatures made nearly every outdoor activity unbearable. Being able to swim or play in a fountain while we were in Ohio were real sanity savers. We've only got a month left before the pool closes, but I expect we'll take full advantage of it because the summer heat probably won't break for awhile.

Dimples

Funny Girl has graduated from needing a life jacket.

Robotson

Mr. D is Chillin'

Lunch by the pool with friends.

Fountain at The Greene in Ohio

My nephew

Robotson is the wettest.

Gramma

1...2...3...

Go Funny Girl!

Littleman

Sydlicious

Nic

The Pirate

FG snorkeling

National Museum of the U.S. Air Force

2011-07-31T00:21:00.000-04:00

My side of the family is from Ohio. Many of us have moved south over the years, but my gramma hosts a picnic each year to try to bring us all together. We've never made the trip because either our babies were too little or money was too tight, but this year it seemed feasible. B was in the middle of a job change working out his two weeks notice and had to stay home, but my mom and nephew rounded out our crew.

While there I wanted to keep the kids busy and show them the places I'd been to, and loved, as a kid. One of the first was the Air Force Museum on Wright-Patterson Air Force Base. I don't know how many times I went there as a child, but I always loved it. The museum is enormous now and it took two trips to see everything, though it would take a full week of visits from open to close to really experience everything it has to offer. Best of all, it's free! If you ever visit Dayton, OH make sure you go because it's simply fantastic. If you don't think you'll ever get a chance to visit, check out their website. You can take a virtual tour. They've really done a great job putting the information out there. I linked a bunch of stuff below just so I can go back and learn more.

My favorite plane of all time, The Flying Tiger.

My aunt and nephew.

Giving her sister a boost.

The kids didn't just rush through the museum. They really studied the exhibits.

Big brother explains the zeppelin.

Cool!

The interactive part of the museum was their favorite part.

How does a helicopter work?

"I'm flying Mama!"

Flight Simulator

Darkstar

Right out of science fiction: a hovercraft.

Cool reflection on the Columbine III.

Apollo 15

Missile and Space gallery

This is just a tiny bit of what we saw and did in our two visits, but I've got to cut the photos off at some point. Add 'Visit Air Force Museum' to your bucket list - it's that good.

June/July 2011 Books

2011-07-30T12:27:00.001-04:00

These are the few books we read together in June. I read a lot on my own this summer while the kids played. Robotson is currently reading Kingdom Keepers: Disney After Dark. He's also read a couple of graphic novels, most recently Tron: Betrayal.

The Golden Egg Book by Margaret Wise Brown

Mickey and Friends: Let's Go to the Vet

The Crocodile Blues by Coleman Polhemus

Madeline's Rescue by Ludwig Bemelmans

The Emperor's New Clothes by Kathryn Lasky

Dolphin's First Day: The Story of a Bottlenose Dolphin by Kathleen Weidner Zoehfeld

Maggie and the Pirate by Ezra Jack Keats

The Phantom of the Muppet Theater by Ellen Weiss

Time Flies by Eric Rohmann

How we spent our summer vacation...

2011-07-29T19:22:00.000-04:00

Swimming, reading, field trips, adopting a cat, driving, a family reunion in Ohio, and a job change!

That's all that I can muster for now. :)

Health Update - July 2011

2011-07-11T12:56:00.000-04:00

A quick aside before I really get into this post. Thank you everyone who read and commented (here and FB) on my last post about parenting. It's obviously one of my insecurities and I write about it a couple of times a year when it builds up in my head. I appreciate the support and love. I feel really lucky to have such amazing friends.

Now I want to do a quick health update since it's been a very long time. The details are boring - here's a summary:

My weight fluctuates between 147 and 152lbs. It's been like that for about a year. My lowest was 145.

I have flirted with exercise, but I really don't like it and won't make the time.

I like the idea of eating vegan, but I haven't been ready to commit 100%.

Which brings me to last week. I've decided that I want to try to get over this hump and find a way to move my body, see if I can't tone up and drop one more clothing size, and remove most dairy and eggs from my diet. My starting weight was 152. I'm down to 149 now, but that's not unusual since I have a 5lb window. We'll see where I am in a few more weeks. I am also counting calories again to keep myself conscious of my eating choices. It's just the easiest way to keep myself mindful.

My diet has been mostly vegan. I skipped pizza, root beer floats, and nachos this week with no regrets. I did still grab a couple of of coffee drinks and had a fabulous pumpkin ravioli dinner with a friend last night. Overall I can't say I would call myself vegan, but I am making conscious choices to cut back. I have noticed small things too like when I do eat dairy I can taste it more. I may very well come to the point where I don't enjoy the flavor if I am away from it long enough. I've given up eggs before, so that's not as big of a deal.

As for exercise, the kids and I are spending a couple of days a week at the pool. When I'm home I try to move around or stand more when I am using the computer. I haven't yet spent any time on the treadmill or with the Wii programs. It's really hot right now. Excuses, I know.

So what are my goals? I don't know yet. I have Lose It! set to help me get to 135, but it's just something to work toward. I may end up lower or higher. I have a few articles of clothing that I'd like to wear comfortably, so that's my real goal right now. I'd like to see myself in single digit clothing, but we'll see. I don't want to have to replace my wardrobe again! One goal I have is to feel even better and less tired than I do still sometimes feel. I know motherhood is exhausting, but I don't feel as in shape as I know I did when I was exercising a year ago. I need to get that back. Lastly, if I can cut dairy/eggs out of my diet completely that would be great. I'm not going to beat myself up over it though. It's still going to be in the house. I just want to eat less of it.

On the topic of Parenting...

2011-07-10T12:21:00.000-04:00

Ever have one of those days when the same topic comes up over and over? It's not like you are looking for it, but everyone seems to be talking about whatever it is and you can't escape. That was my day yesterday. The topic was "permissive parenting" and no matter how hard I tried to avoid it there it was right in my face.

It started with this article I read. It's an annoying opinion piece. I know it's really hip right now to bash parents for having children that act like children. I'm sure there are some crappy parents out there, but I bet most of them are like me just trying to find a balance. We don't want our kids to stop thinking for themselves and obey everything an authority figure says. Yet, it would be really nice if they would just do everything *we* say since we are the parents after all. Especially because people are watching and we are supposed to be in control. Parenting isn't easy under a microscope.

Then later while at the pool I was sitting with a group of older women who started in on the same topic. "Kids these days know they can do anything they want and their parents won't do anything to stop them. Or can't because nowadays you can't smack your kids when they act up." Wow. O.k. I could write a whole other post on the problems with this, but I'll let it speak for itself.

But the icing on the cake came from family. I won't go into details out of respect, but an already strained relationship is probably irreparably damaged.

I bit my tongue all day, but what I'd really like to say to these people is this: kids are not brats. They are young humans trying to figure out how to navigate through a very complex world. They don't think they can do whatever they want because they are told over and over what they can not do. Ask any kid and they will tell you, but it's sort of in their wiring to just give it a try anyway. We need to just accept that growing brains are not capable of the same sort of adult thought processes. And parents these days are not terrible. If your parenting skills were so stellar back in the day then we should be great at it too, right? If we are falling short now then by your logic it should be our parent's fault.

I've said this before, and I am getting better, but I really need to be my children's #1 advocate. They aren't perfect and sometimes I'm completely appalled by their behavior, but they are worth knowing and loving. If I had to label the parenting style I aim for I'd use the word compassionate. I spend a lot of time talking with my kids about compassion and understanding. Everyone in our lives is precious and should be accepted for who they are. It's not our job to change other people. All we can do is change how we respond to the things that happen around us. Anyone who knows me also knows that I often fall flat on my face and am nothing like a compassionate person. I make mistakes and my children make mistakes, but we are trying and we care. Please keep your judgment to yourself because it hurts.

Life is Good

2011-07-06T21:16:00.000-04:00

Crazy times for our family right now. There may be some big changes for us very soon but I don't feel like I can write about them yet.

The kids and I are fully embracing the summer. We are going places and doing things with a little bit of reading and online learning here and there. Mostly we are just enjoying life, but with that comes very little time to sit down and type here. I keep saying I'll catch up, but it seems less and less likely with each passing day.

Just know that we are still here, all healthy, wonderfully busy, and very much still parenting with no religion which is why most people come to this blog. But since I think we only get one shot at this life, and right now it's more fun to be out there doing; I guess we'll just have to accept that means less of us online.

This may seem random, but I had a comment asking for a pic of the ink from back in March. So here it is for KellyNaturally:

Also there are a lot of great bloggers over there on the right. Every once in a while I go through to make sure the links still work and add new ones I come across. Check them out too!

Mindful Monday: The Sky

2011-06-28T10:58:00.000-04:00

It's cliche to talk about never noticing the sky and then one day you realize how amazing it is, so you made a point of appreciating it ever since. Still, that's what happened to me. When I was sad for so long I didn't notice a lot of things - not just the sky. But one day colors stood out. I saw the blue sky, the white clouds, the green trees, the black road, the yellow street signs. Everything was so vibrant and that's when I knew things were really different in my head. I couldn't help talking about them or snapping pictures. The kids have noticed. Funny Girl told me the other day that I don't cry anymore. I was sad that she knew, but happy that she could see I was feeling better too. And Dimples looks at the sky. She says, "Mommy, it's the sky beautiful today?" We talk about the clouds and how wonderful it is to be alive.

Recently as we've had more storms I've noticed just how expansive the sky looks. Sometimes I can see the edges of storms and tell where it's raining. Sometimes the clouds are layered and I am amazed at the depth. I show these to the kids too. Beauty isn't just on the pretty days. Stormy skies can be awesome too.

Not a day goes by anymore when I'm not mindful of the sky.

May 2011 Books

2011-06-20T22:12:00.000-04:00

The new Blogger editor is really irritating me right now. I've lost the Amazon gadget that helped me do the links with pictures below. I used to be able to get back to the old editor, but now I can't even do that. So I give up. I'm just going to post this and apologize for it looking like crap.

I expect our reading will decrease even more over the summer since we have so much planned. Here is May's book list:

Is a Worry Worrying You? by Ferida Wolff and Harriet May Savitz

If you have little worriers this book could be a great tool for learning how to deal with those fears from distraction to tackling the issue head on.

Math for All Seasons by Greg Tang

Another great book in the same vein as The Grapes of Math, Math Appeal, and Math-terpieces

Equal Shmequal by Virginia Kroll

An introduction to the concept of dividing things equally and finding balance.

Working Cotton by Sherley Anne Williams

This one is about the times of slavery and what it was like having to pick cotton. It's actually a bit tame considering the subject. Robotson is the only one who is aware of slavery at this point since the girls are still a bit young. I don't think the kids are ready to appreciate the sadness of this story just yet.

3-in-1 Fairytale Treasuries Magical Stories

Just another version of some fairytales. Nothing new or exciting.

Sparrow Girl by Sara Pennypacker

Based on a true story, there was a time when China tried to eradicate sparrow because there was a belief that they were ruining the crops. Unfortunately, when you completely remove one part of an ecosystem it upsets the balance. This is a really great story about how one person can make a difference to set things right again.

Tinker Bell and the Lost Treasure: Tiny Adventurers (I can't find a link for this one.)

Some lessons from Tinker Bell on what it takes to be an adventurer.

Walt Disney's Cinderella

It's exactly what you think it is.

Olive My Love by Vivian Walsh

This one seems disjointed and completely random to me. I guess Olive is a fairly popular character based on a cartoon? I'm not sure, but we only read it once and I don't really remember it.

Walt Disney's Dumbo the Flying Elephant

This is also what you think it is.

The Frog Prince Continued by Jon Scieszka

What happens after the happily ever after for the girl and the frog prince? It's not what you might expect. Neither of them is very happy and so the frog prince decides to go back to being a frog - only it's not as easy as it seems.

Gravity Buster: Journal of a Cardboard Genius and Time Twister: Journal of a Cardboard Genius by Frank Asch

These were read by Robotson. He enjoyed them, but I'm not sure what they are about.

Whoa Jealousy! by Woodleigh Marx Hubbard

This was my favorite this month. This book gives big emotions like jealousy, envy, and rivalry definitions that are easy for kids to understand and then tells you that you can choose to let them in or shut them out. I thought the imagery was good and the explanations of how these feelings can get in the way of relationships really hit home. I think Robotson especially absorbed the messages from this book.

Spooky Hour by Tony Mitton

A Halloween counting book.

Baloney (Henry P.) by Jon Scieszka

Henry is a late again and his excuses are pretty interesting as they are all in different and more obscure languages. It wasn't my favorite Scieszka book, but it was different.

Emily and the Enchanted Frog by Helen V. Griffith

We got this one because it had a mermaid in it, but that was just one of the three little fairy tales. They were cute, but not remarkable. Even reading the Amazon page isn't jogging my memory of them.

Outside Over There by Maurice Sendak

This was actually a pretty creepy book about a sister who isn't watching her little sister close enough and she's stolen by goblins. It didn't scare my kids, but it wasn't what I was expecting.

Barack Obama of Thee I Sing: A Letter to My Daughters by Barack Obama

A cute little history of some of the prominent Americans in history and how they are part of who we are today. We liked this one.

Sisterly Love

2011-06-12T12:42:00.000-04:00

Overheard conversation between Dimples and Funny Girl:

Dimples: When I grow up I am going to marry a girl.

Funny Girl: Which girl?

Dimples: Funny Girl.

Funny Girl: But you can't marry your sister.

Dimples: Mom says that girls can marry girls and boy can marry boys, and girls can marry boys. So I can marry whoever I want.

Funny Girl: But not me!!

May 2011: Week Four

2011-06-11T11:58:00.003-04:00

Note: I had meant to post this two weeks ago but that's when our server went down.

We spent a couple of afternoons at the park. I did a little more cleaning. We finished The MBS and the Perilous Journey. We did some more Time4Learning. We spent an inordinate amount of time in grocery stores. My cousin and her girlfriend came to visit from St. Louis and we ate a TON of food. We visited Fernbank with Aunt and Uncle J and ate a TON of cake pops. We had a lemonade at Centennial Olympic Park and learned about free parking downtown. I was exhausted by Saturday and fairly vegetated all day.

The kids loved Fernbank and are eager to go back. I am seriously considering a family membership. We tried to explore the entire center in one afternoon, but we barely scratched the surface. I could tell the kids were getting tired, but even they didn't want to leave. A membership would give us the chance to spend as much time as we want in each section and would be perfect for scorching/freezing/rainy days. Plus we'd have the added benefit of being able to see family on most visits. If you haven't been in a while (or ever) it's well worth the money, and honestly for the cost you might as well get the membership and just plan to go at least twice. Currently they have a special exhibit of mythic creatures, which is utterly fascinating! It's a great exhibit for teaching kids how myths get started. Even better, the next special exhibit coming in September is all about Charles Darwin. Squee!!

Argentinosaurus! I could have spent all day just staring at this behemoth.

Funny Girl in awe.

Robotson and Uncle J

Robotson hanging with Anhanguera, a pterosaur.

Uncle J's artwork!

On to Mythic Creatures!

I love this shot! I had the hardest time figuring
out how to get Dimples and the unicorn in the
frame. Finally I ended up lying on the floor
shooting up backwards. I got some funny looks,
but it was so worth it.

Golden Pegasus. I so wanted to touch it.

If I remember correctly, these were magnets that allowed you to move
the "bones" of several different animals around to build a new creature.
The point was to show how mistakes could fuel myths.

On to Sensing Nature. We could have spent our entire day blowing
giant bubbles. Seriously.

Tesla Ball

Colorful Shadows

Tornado!

I wanted to hang out in Reflections of Culture, but the kids weren't
interested.

World of Shells was beautiful. The girls especially enjoyed them.
I asked Dimples if she could hear the ocean in this one. She really
tried.

Learning more about shells.

The kids area is way cool! I didn't take many pics there because I was
too busy looking around and exploring. We could easily spend an
entire day in this one area.

This night vision thing was just creepily awesome. You have no idea
what might be lurking right next to you!

Aunt J having a chat with Dimples.

Souvenirs!

Hanging with the dinos.

Hey, what's that behind you?

Tons to photograph outside as well.

Apparently there are several things we missed like a forest, star gallery, rose garden, and IMAX movie. Yeah, we are definitely going back soon!

We met up with my cousin at Centennial Olympic Park after Fernbank.

We were just in time for a fountain show.

And a cool drink of lemonade!

365 Gratitude: Weeks Three & Four

2011-06-10T23:00:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling sort of paralyzed right now in terms of catching up. I have so many posts and absolutely no time. So I'm going to try to catch up on my gratitude posts first.

Week Three

Week Four

Upcoming Posts

2011-06-08T15:11:00.009-04:00

We have finally resolved our network issues here and the photos should be back up in past posts. I didn't see much point in posting last week if I couldn't put any photos up since most of my drafts involved photos. Plus, we were out of town with no internet access so I couldn't post anyway.

I'll be trying to catch up over the next couple of weeks. This should be fun!

Well this sucks...

2011-05-29T12:54:00.000-04:00

Apparently pictures will be down on the blog for a while. Let's just say Comcast and ZoneEdit have impeccable timing.

Sorry about that.

Is this really even an issue?

2011-05-26T19:39:00.000-04:00

Everyone is writing about gender right now. I might as well pop in with my .02.

My son goes by Nicky.

My oldest daughter wanted her hair cut short "like a boy" for over a year, and finally went really short like the girl in Megamind.

My youngest loves all things princess and Barbie.

My son is really into robots and Daft Punk.

My oldest daughter wanted her ears pierced when she was four.

My youngest daughter loves to push the limits and be a little bit scared.

My son really enjoys literature and loved Anne of Green Gables, Little Women, and Luv Ya Bunches as much as "boy" titles, maybe more.

My oldest daughter plays robot wars with her brother and house with her sister.

My youngest daughter prefers pants to all other forms of clothing. She hates skirts.

My son had begged for the princess Dora with hair that grew for his fourth birthday. It was all he wanted and he took it everywhere for a while. He also had other dolls though he never played house.

My daughters had toy cars when they were little. They loved trains and dinosaurs too.

My oldest daughter looked great in blue, so I found a lot of blue dresses for her when she was little.

My youngest daughter is pink all the way. She's a total girly-girl.

All of the kids watch all of the movies whether they are princesses, robots, action, or drama. They love them all.

All of my kids know that men can wear makeup, have long hair, get their ears pierced, and wear dresses and skirts.

All of my kids know that women can have short hair, wear suits, and have big muscles.

They also know that generally speaking men and women fall in love, but men do fall in love with men and women fall in love with women too.

My point is that we've never made much of a deal about boy stuff and girl stuff. We aren't perfect of course, but we try. I think you can go from the one extreme of boxing your children into their gender stereotype to refusing to tell anyone whether they are a boy or a girl so they can make up their own mind. They are going to know either way, I bet.

I don't care about the gender wars and I'm hoping that in the end, neither will my kids.

May 2011: Week Three

2011-05-25T09:57:00.078-04:00

Last week was fairly uneventful. After we got home from the lake I really didn't feel like putting much effort into much of anything. Part of the problem was procrastination as the housework had been piling up and was beginning to really bother me. Fortunately we are having house guests on Thursday so I am using that as an excuse to get everyone to help. However, last week it was getting me down a bit. So we spent Monday and Tuesday at the park. Out of sight, out of mind!

Wednesday Funny Girl had her follow up eye appointment. She still has to wear her patch as there was no change in her vision. Now she's supposed to wear it while she does something active instead of just passively watching t.v. This shouldn't be a problem since she's been very agreeable about the whole thing. I'm glad to be able to drop the extra screen time as well. The optometrist mentioned video games though, so she wants to do that. So far I've been able to convince her that he also mentioned reading, puzzles, and drawing as activities she should do while wearing it. I think we'll try to mix it up. It's another six weeks before her next appointment.

Thursday and Friday we played a bit in Time4Learning. Funny Girl has finished PreK1. Robotson and I did some of the Language Arts activities. His reading comprehension is excellent; grammar not so much. I can't give him too hard of a time though. It's a weak point for me as well. Maybe I'll learn something by sitting with him. We are also one day's reading away from finishing The MBS and the Perilous Journey. We aren't reading a book club book for this month since we will miss the meeting on Friday.

I promised the kids a low-key weekend since we'd been doing a lot the last few weeks. Robotson used the computer for hours on end and the girls watch t.v. for just as long. I started the housework finally, but was sidelined on Sunday with a headache. Oh well. There's always this week.

One more update on the project that never ends. I have finally finished installing and painting the quarter round in the spare room. I still have to do the closet, but the room is nearly complete. I don't even remember now when I started this renovation, but I will be very glad to be done. Just need to do the finishing touches now. Maybe I can muster a blog post at some point. I make no promises...

May 2011: Week Two (only slightly late!)

2011-05-24T10:59:00.000-04:00

We spent the second week of May preparing for and taking a trip to Lake Sinclair.

So much to see, hear, do, and explore when we are at the lake.

I turned 34 while we were there!

Dimples is now swimming on her own!

Building sand castles.

Decorating sand castles.

Let's talk about light and shadows.

Look what washed up on our "beach." We rescued it and put it to
good use on the dock. It's a trash can.

There were cicadas everywhere and their song was sometimes
deafening. We rescued several from the lake. When their wings
were dry, they would fly away. This is just an empty shell.

Beautiful spider web.

Max all worn out from a day of swimming in the lake.

I haven't been able to identify these, but I found an app that might
help for when we go back.

Not sure what this is either.

Water can make the most interesting run off patterns.

Ants marking their territory.

The sky looked like this most of the time.

But it did rain for a bit. B said there was a storm rolling in with high
winds. I said, "I'm not worried." When it came in though it was so
strong that we couldn't see across the lake any longer. Fortunately
it was brief.

Time for a boat ride.

A rare shot of Robotson.

Funny Girl is getting camera shy now too.

Georgia Power

Putting my feet up.

We weren't the only family out enjoying the water.

The sun setting on the lake.

Moon rising.

Mindful Monday: Making Choices

2011-05-23T09:56:00.066-04:00

Sometimes I wish there were more hours in the day. I tell myself I could get more done if there was more time. It's probably not true though. I never run out of things to do, so I am thinking a couple of extra hours would just fill up in the same way. Plus I'd get tired more often and spend more time sleeping or wishing the kids would sleep so I could rest. See? Nothing else would actually get done.

The last couple of weeks I seem to have made a leap in being mindful of our time. I'm not entirely sure why it came together all of a sudden, but it did. I'm doing better with figuring out what is going on at any given moment and making a choice. Most importantly though, I'm doing better at not feeling guilt over said choice - which seems to be the key. Somedays that means that I catch up on laundry, finish a book, read with the kids, go to the park, watch a movie, clean my bedroom, write a blog post, take some pictures, go to the grocery, or even just take a nap. Those are just some recent choices. A question I am getting fond of asking myself is, "Will the world end if I do this instead of that?" The answer is always no. My choices, the kids choices - none of them affect the rotation of the earth. This gives me the freedom to choose mindfully, and with mindful choice comes peace. That's not to say that I never feel guilty anymore, I do. But I seem to be a little bit closer to forgiving my humanness.

365 Gratitude: Week Two

2011-05-22T20:01:00.010-04:00

365 Gratitude: Week One

2011-05-15T23:52:00.001-04:00

Field Trip 2011: Oakhurst Community Garden

2011-05-10T23:42:00.000-04:00

We love the Bee Movie. Not only is it hilarious, but it touches on the importance of bees for our very survival. I've often wondered why colony collapse disorder isn't a much bigger news event. Umm hello? No bees, no food. That seems like a pretty big deal to me. When this field trip to learn about bees came up I was psyched and I knew the girls would love it. I didn't think Robotson would be that interested, but his pollen allergies were also a concern. The trip was postponed a couple of times due to colder temps, so by the time we went he probably would have been o.k., but he's a little tetchy when it comes to outside events.

So we went to Oakhurst Community Garden with Grace and Mavibu and their girls. We learned about bees and got to see them up close. Then we played with the chickens. The girls went to play in the cob house while I took photos. Finally we walked around and admired the flowers and beauty of the garden as a whole. I could have spent all day there to be honest.

Here's a photo tour of our day!

The girls minus Dimples.

Learning about the hive.

Touching beeswax.

Dimples is ready to go in.

Funny Girl is ready too!

The girls went in two at a time.

Up close!

We made our own beeswax candles.

Let's go visit the chickens!

You talkin' to me?

Mom, can we have a chicken?

No idea what kinds of flowers/plants these are; I just enjoy taking their pictures. I hope you enjoy them too!

May 2011: Week One

2011-05-10T10:15:00.001-04:00

I signed Robotson and Funny Girl up with Time 4 Learning. We know a few families who use it and I was curious. Then there was a special deal in April, so I figured what the heck. If the kids don't like it, we can just cancel it. Funny Girl is starting in PreK. Honestly, it's way too easy for her. She's nearly into PreK 2 after only three logins. I asked her if she wanted me to move her up though and she said no. Besides, Dimples sits with her. I actually think it's too easy for Dimples too. Robotson is a little harder to figure out. Most of the lessons in fourth grade seem too easy for him, but I hesitate to raise his level. This type of program is new for him, plus he's a perfectionist. He gets really upset when he gets anything wrong, so I think we'll stick with the easier stuff for now. Talking through the ones he needs help with is good for him too. I've been sitting with them while they do the different lessons. I like how they explain to me what they're doing or how they figured something out. Anyway, I don't know how long we'll use it, but no one is complaining right now. I don't assign lessons, it's just another option on the table.

Robotson is still reading a lot on his own. He just finished the second book of the Journal of a Cardboard Genius series and he's started Violet in Bloom. We are still reading the second book of The Mysterious Benedict Society together. We missed the last book club meeting because of some attitude issues. We'd been running late and I was just not in the mood, so we left.

As funny as this may sound to anyone who knows me, or has been reading this blog for a while now, I've been trying to get us out of the house more. If unschooling is about experiencing life then it sort of makes sense to get to living it. It helps that financial concerns aren't keeping us tied down too. Plus I have some tough decisions about how we are going to spend our time going forward. Unfortunately our homeschool group isn't quite what it once was and so it's not as simple to see all of the kids that my kids want to see. I also want to take advantage of more inexpensive (and free) opportunities in Athens. I've been trying to resurrect the Barrow County park day as well. To top everything off my mom got a new job and she now has weekends and the summer off! We are going to spend a lot of our days at the pool in my parent's neighborhood this summer. Actually there is so much stuff coming up for us that I'm really looking forward to the next few months. We are going to be busy bees!

Funny Girl is tired of me taking her picture.

Anyway, back to last week. We went to the park, visited an interactive museum, spent a morning catching up with B's dad, went to my nephew's last soccer game of the season, and took my parent's out for a Mother's Day dinner. That's why this post is late, but it was so worth it!

A note on the soccer photos. Yes, I intentionally cut heads off in my editing for the blog. These aren't my kids, or even kids I know except for the third one down is my nephew (#20). I got lots of great shots though. The facial expressions on these kids are just great. I've got one where the goalie's hair is flying straight up as he dives for the ball. Classic!

I'm going to try to blog our last two field trips this week. I just gotta make sure I can post pictures and then find some time.

Mindful Monday: Gratitude Project

2011-05-09T11:15:00.001-04:00

I'm not a huge fan of the 365 projects. You've probably heard of a hundred different ones. Most of them have to do with taking a photo of something each day for a year. It's not that I dislike them or the idea, it's just that they got real popular, real fast. I tend to stay away from things like that, though not always and not forever. Sometimes I just wait for the hubbub to die down. I'm a dork like that - what can I say?

Anyway I was browsing through the photography blogs in my Reader and noticed there was a link to 365 days of gratitude. Now this is something I'd be interested in doing. I've been looking for a ways to notice more of the wonderful things in my life and have the kids start noticing them too. I really like a suggestion by Dr. Christine Carter where each day she and her children name some things for which they are grateful. The idea is awesome, but the reality is that I don't make the time. The couple of times that I have tried to work it into our day the kids haven't been all that receptive. I know if I make it a habit that will help, but I just haven't. She has a lot of other really good ideas too. If you are interested check out the link above.

What I like about this particular project is the photo aspect. Yes, I know. I just said above that most 365's are about taking a daily photo. But it wasn't until I actually saw the blog post that I considered throwing the two things together. Since I have my phone with me at all times, and since I am taking a lot of pictures, and since I am trying to be more mindful of the positives in my life, and since I am on Instagram nearly everyday it just seems like a doable project for me. The kids are used to me stopping to take photos, and I often show them or ask for input on editing. Talking about why I am taking the photo and the reason I feel grateful might be a really good way to model the behavior I'd like for them to pick up.

I plan to post them daily on Instagram (I'm @justsarah) and probably cross-post them to Facebook and Twitter. I'll use the hashtag #grateful365. I also plan to do a weekly post here with the photos. I'll use one of my apps to add text to the photo so the message is all in one neat little package. I was thinking a regular Sunday post, but as always I may be a little bit late. I'm already behind on my weekly update from last week. *sigh*

I'm starting tomorrow. Anyone else want to do it with me?

Secular Thursday: Help Tuscaloosa

2011-05-05T23:39:00.000-04:00

If you are looking for a way to help our neighbors, consider donating to the American Red Cross.

I wrote a farewell post last week while we waited for the storms to reach us. I had it set to auto-post in a week, giving me time to stop it if all was well. It would have posted today. Something about writing a good-bye was comforting though. I went from being quite scared to having a calm sense that I had done all that I could. Now I just needed to embrace every moment I had with my family and take each breath as it came. My calmness was very helpful when it came time to put the kids to bed. The girls drifted off in their beds and I moved them into the storm closet without them even noticing. Robotson was awake, but not worried because I was not worried. I cleared out my Reader and watched the weather radar until the wee hours of the morning and the danger had passed. Then I saved the post as a draft and went to sleep snuggled with my babies. Hopefully no one will see my last post for many decades to come. By then I'm sure blogging won't even be the thing to do.

My post wasn't nearly as beautiful and well-written as this one. Warning: do not read this unless you are ready to cry. Despite my not knowing Derek Miller (or even hearing of him before he was gone), his words were very comforting. That's the sort memory I would like to leave behind when my time comes. I've often drafted letters in my head that I'd like to leave for my children. Maybe I need to actually start doing it so that they know how wonderful my life was with them. That's one of the life lessons I hope to pass on to my children - don't wait to tell people how much they mean to you. Funny Girl already embraces this philosophy. She tells people all of the time that she loves them. The waitress at Frontera was surprised, as are most of the people she tells. If she feels a sort of gratitude toward someone she wants to make sure they know it. I want to be more like her.

See what other the Secular Thursday bloggers are talking about today.

Life Lessons

2011-05-03T22:32:00.001-04:00

The taking of a life has come up several times in our family lately. You might think that's an odd recurring topic, but it's ranged from picking a flower to Osama Bin Laden. A life is a life. It's important to remember that - regardless of the circumstance. When you pick a dandelion it is no longer connected to something it needs to survive. It might not wilt and turn brown immediately, but you can't stop it from dying at that point. It's not that I'm some sort of crazy pro-plant person, but even before picking a weed I think it's worth asking what it means to end that life. And it's the same with bugs.

I'm not a huge insect fan. Some of them are downright creepy, and I really do not want them in my house. Some seem more acceptable than others; ladybugs are o.k., cockroaches are not! There are these little black bugs all over the place right now. I don't know where they come from but they always congregate around the foundations of buildings. You see these piles (literally them climbing all over each other) at the stores in the strip malls and such. They are so weird and the kids always ask what they are doing. I have no idea. So not only are the kids drawn to look at them, but then the stomping starts. What could be more fun than squishing hundreds of wriggling bugs? They are going to die anyway. Once a day a bug guy comes out with a shop vac and sucks them all up to be disposed of later. Yet each time the kids start to stomp I ask them to think about how in one instant they go from being alive to not being alive. This usually does not stop them, but sometimes they pause and decided to let them be.

Recently my step-FIL has asked if it's alright for Robotson to take a hunting safety class. He's bought him a rifle and would like to take him hunting. I have an opinion about hunters and hunting, but I want Robotson to make up his own mind. Before we can even discuss the possibility of taking a class and getting a license, I want him to sit down with B and I so we can talk about what hunting means. It's really easy to lose the significance of purposely looking for and trying to kill another living creature. Does he understand what he'd be trying to kill? How will he feel if he actually shoots it? What if it doesn't die right away, but is hurt and suffering? When it's dead, what next? These are all important questions and then it still needs to be asked - do you really understand what it means to be dead?

I saw Annie from PhD in Parenting just wrote a post about talking to kids about Osama Bin Laden. She asked what other parents were planning to tell their children, if anything at all. All of our children were awake when the President made the announcement. The girls were around the news, but they were playing. I don't know how much they understood or even heard. Robotson was listening and watching. He knows some of the details around the 9/11 even though he was only nine months old at the time of the attacks. I don't think I ever mentioned OBL specifically though. When we explained that this was the man responsible for those airplanes crashing he didn't seem to immediately make the connection. I think the idea is just too big. At ten it's hard for him to imagine what happened that day even though he's seen pictures and video. Those were all after the fact and could almost be viewed like a movie. To him, it's not real. So the importance of the death of the person responsible was also beyond his comprehension. B and I only explained to him the facts that were known at the time of his death, and it hasn't come up again since. I know eventually the kids will ask more questions and we'll be honest about what happened. One day they might ask if killing him was the right thing to do, but I hope that I am teaching them to value life in all forms, repulsive or not. So when they do ask, I hope it's because they've been thinking about it and they have their own ideas about the value of a life. That's something I think they have to find a way to understand within themselves.

April 2011 Books

2011-05-01T21:29:00.331-04:00

Another short reading list. The weather is just too nice to call the girls in for reading. By the time they come in at night and bathe it's too late to read, but honestly I'm just fine with this. We'll read more when it's so hot you can barely move. Not looking forward to the sweltering Hotlanta summer.

Sleeping Beauty Retold by Kate Knighton

You know the story. The girls just eat these books up. I like them because they are mini-chapter books but the text is large. I wouldn't be surprised if these are some of the first books that the girls read on their own...

Dora the Explorer: The Puppy Twins

...As opposed to books like this one. None of us was impressed by this one with little pictures over some of the words so the girls could "read" along. The problem was the pictures didn't always make sense. For example there would be a picture of the puppy. So the girls would "read" puppy, but it was supposed to be the puppy's name, Perrito, only they could never remember the name.

I'm the Best Artist in the Ocean by Kevin Sherry

Not as cute as I'm the Biggest Thing in the Ocean, but perhaps good for beginning readers.

There's a Nightmare In My Closet by Mercer Mayer

I'd read a lot of good things about this one and even the librarian gave it a thumb's up. It sort of flopped here though. Perhaps it's because my kids love scary books and don't have fears of monsters in their bedrooms that they didn't really get much out of this one. But if you have a child with nighttime fears this may be a good choice.

The Very Fairy Princess by Julie Andrews and Emma Walton Hamilton

Well the girls loved it because it's about being a princess, and I loved it because it was about being yourself.

Plum by Tony Milton

Definitely my favorite read of the month. Plum is a collection of poems and the illustrations are by Marie Grand Pre (Harry Potter books.) It's just gorgeous.

East of the Sun & West of the Moon by Mercer Mayer

We only read this one once. My vague recollection is that it's about a girl who has some trouble that a frog helps her out of, but then she has to do him some favors. She agrees, then reneges. Turns out the frog was a guy who was cursed by a troll princess whom he now has to marry. So the girl decides to rescue him.

Curious George Makes Pancakes by Margaret & H. A. Rey

Monkey gets curious. Monkey gets in trouble. Monkey makes people happy.

I Dreamed I Was a Ballerina: A girlhood story by Anna Pavlova

This one is an old favorite around here. It's the story of the first time Anna Pavlova saw the ballet with her mother.

Here Is the Wetland by Madeleine Dunphy

A wetland version of The House That Jack Built. It's fun to read, pretty to look at, and educational.

Manners at a Friend's House by Amanda Doering Tourville

Cute story, but slightly boring. The manners are good though.

The Woman in the Moon: A Story from Hawai'i Retold by Jama Kim Rattigan

A Hawaiian folktale about a woman who worked selflessly for her village and husband, none of whom really appreciated her. So she begins to look for a place where she can be alone. Eventually she goes to the moon and that's why you see a woman in the moon.

The Magical, Mystical, Marvelous Coat by Catherine Ann Cullen

We picked this one up because of the colorful cover and it turned out to be a fun read. This one could easily be used to learn about the days of the week too. The child has a coat with seven different buttons that they use to help others throughout the week. It's a pretty little read.

Stone Soup by Jon J. Muth

This is the zen version of the old story. Three monks go down to a village that's been through some tough times. The people there learn how to find happiness in a pot of stone soup. The kid have requested we make this soup soon. I think we will.

Not Me! by Nicola Killen

The house is getting messier by the minute, but who's responsible? It's a cute book, but probably better for younger kids. Even Dimples wasn't that impressed though I'd guess the kids in the book are all three.

Acorns Everywhere by Kevin Sherry

This one is about a squirrel who is collecting acorns. It's another that might be a good for a beginning reader and introduces homonyms in a cute way. I wasn't really fond of the squirrel himself though. He's sorta selfish.

Rapunzel Retold by Paul O. Zelinsky

You know I really do not like the story of Rapunzel. Her mother is dramatic, her father has no courage. The witch is completely unreasonable and the total innocent has to suffer all of them. She finally meets someone who actually loves her, so the witch casts her out into the wilderness and hurts her prince. At least it has a happy ending, but geez... The illustrations are just gorgeous in this one. If you can get over the story itself, it's worth checking out.

Star Jumper: Journal of a Cardboard Genius by Frank Asch

This was one that Robotson read on his own. Maybe I can get him to start giving me little synopsis of his reads. Anyway, I don't know anything about it other than he really liked it and got the other two in the series for Easter.

Pet Show! by Ezra Jack Keats

I don't even remember this one. Something about a missing cat. But it's Keats, so you know it's fun and colorful.

The Pig in the Pond by Martin Waddell

The pig is hot and he's a little jealous that the ducks and geese are keeping cool in the pond. He can't swim, after all. Eventually he decides to chance it and eventually the whole farm is looking to cool down.

The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Perilous Journey by Trenton Lee Stewart

We are only halfway through with this one. So far it's just as great at the first one, only I think it's a little darker. The first one was certainly scary because of the implications of what would happen if Mr. Curtain got the Whisperer to full capacity. But Mr. Benedict was watching, and Milligan could come rescue them. Even if they just had to go into hiding at least they would be together. In this one there is no one to trust. They left their families in the dark to worry about them. Milligan is totally absent so far, and of course they are trying to rescue Mr. Benedict and Number Two. Definitely more edge-of-your-seat this time around.

April 2011: Weeks Three and Four

2011-05-01T19:08:00.000-04:00

Falling behind on my weekly updates, but I'm kinda behind on everything right now. You do not want to see the state of my house. I've nearly convinced myself that dust is the new clean.

I'm not sure if I mentioned it before but Funny Girl has to wear a patch for an hour a day for six weeks to try to strengthen her right eye. We are about halfway through. She's been very willing to wear it because I allow her to watch t.v. while it's on (per the doctor's recommendation.) Kids are so resistant to the idea that anything they'll willingly do is fine as long as they aren't trying to cheat by looking around it. Sometimes she wears it while playing, and even once or twice she's gone out wearing it. I let her choose the situation, but most often it's t.v. I'm not sure if she'll need to keep it up after our next appointment. I'm sorta hoping she's done though because the extra t.v. time is disrupting to our routine. There is a lot of whining when it's time to turn it off and the other two also watch with her, so it's hard to get Robotson on track. A small price to pay for equally strong eyes, I know, but hard in the day-to-day.

There's a storm brewing...

During these last few weeks instead of fighting with the kids, we've just sort of been going with the flow. The girls are spending a lot of time outside because when it's not storming the weather is perfect, and I've been doing some much needed yard work. Robotson is keeping up his newfound love of reading. He's reread the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books, finished Star Jumper, and we are in the middle of The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Perilous Journey. He also got several books for Easter that he's already started.

Despite our laid back schedule I'm feeling tired so I'm going to go with the Reader's Digest version of the last couple of weeks. In no particular order we've: gone to birthday parties, had a field trip to learn about bees, spent a couple of sleepless nights waiting out storms, watched a royal wedding, played a lot of Robot Wars, played at the park, visited again with Ginger and family, collected and learned about hundreds of bugs, and made necklaces with buttons (plus thrown them around a lot.)

This may be a heavier blog week for me if I can squeeze out some time in the evenings. So maybe I'll make up for my sparse weeks.

Even weeds can be beautiful.

Playing at the park.

A real haircut!

Secular Thursday: Sita Sings the Blues

2011-04-28T09:22:00.007-04:00

I first heard about this movie before it was even released. When it came out I made sure Robotson and I sat down to watch it since he'd already had an interest in the Hindu deities piqued from seeing them in The Story of Religion. I wasn't sure what to expect, but we both very much enjoyed the colorful animations and music. I'd been meaning to buy the dvd for a while, but never got around to it. My MIL had seen it on my Amazon wishlist around Christmas and asked if the kids would like it. She bought it, but forgot to give it to them and so it just arrived as an Easter present. The kids immediately asked to watch it.

I love the way my kids watch movies. They talk about everything they see and ask questions when they don't understand. I know most adults find it annoying when someone is constantly talking through a movie. Even I fall into this trap, but I'm trying to be more mindful. Any movie watched in this house can be paused. There is no reason we can't stop to talk about what we are seeing, even if the answer is coming in the next scene or I don't know the answer yet myself. There is a time for watching a movie quietly (at the theater), but home let the kids be curious. Anyway, they are mostly patient with each other. Dimples spent most of the movie asking why something was happening while Funny Girl and Robotson tried to answer her questions.

My MIL mentioned to a co-worker that Robotson was interested in Hinduism and had enjoyed Sita Sings the Blues. The man is Hindu and I guess he cringed a little, saying that the movie was not a true representation of Hinduism. He gave her a book to pass on to him The Hindu Mind. We haven't read it yet. He also gave Robotson a statue of Ganesha. I find him in the strangest places sometimes, though normally he lives with our religious books. Rounding out our Hindu books is How Ganesh Got His Elephant Head. Robotson loves this story. In fact, he wrote a blog post about it.

With all of our studies it's more about strewing the information. Maybe Sita isn't all you should know about Hinduism, but it's a start. If they are interested they'll learn more, or at least they'll know some of the names of the deities. Honestly, that's more than I could say until I saw the movie a couple years ago. I think the kids are incredibly lucky to have access to movies, books, and people. We even have a local Hindu temple that we can visit (with a vegetarian restaurant!)

As the movie is finishing up, Robotson is explaining as much as he understands about what happens to Sita at the end and Funny Girl is asking if I can put the soundtrack on her iPod. Absolutely. And just for comparison to The Missing Lynx, the kids have watched Sita half a dozen times since they got it on Monday.

Easter 2011

2011-04-24T09:56:00.001-04:00

Easter falls on my nephew's birthday this year. To celebrate we had a party at my cousin's house, whose birthday was last week, so we combined the two yesterday.

On the drive down we passed a man on the side of the road covered in blood. He was wearing a diaper looking thing and was bearing a cross on his back. Part of me wanted to stop and take a picture, and part of me was glad we were moving fairly quickly. I didn't want the kids to see. The girls missed it, but Robotson asked me what that man was doing. I said he was pretending to be Jesus. Robotson knows the story of the crucifixion. I'm not sure if he knows the story of the resurrection though now that I think about it. Anyway, he understood what my answer meant. Then he asked me why. Before I could answer him, he suggested that perhaps the man was drunk. I laughed. I told him it had to do with Easter, but he didn't probe further.

I've mentioned before that growing up my family always celebrated a secular Easter. It's perhaps because of this that I've never felt like I'm faking it during these so-called religious holidays. To me, it was always the Easter bunny, colored eggs, and chocolate. Last year we celebrated by having a picnic and egg hunt with the AIR group. The entire day was full of family, friends, and fun and there was no religion involved.

At the party yesterday, after presents and cake (one was made of donuts!), we had the kids color eggs and then the Easter bunny visited. I think the bunny part was actually implied because I know I didn't mention it. It was a very low-key affair, but the kids had a great time. We'll probably get a few more treats from other family members throughout the week, but that's it.

The E.B. always brings $2 bills to our house.

Happy Easter!

Secular Thursday: The Missing Lynx

2011-04-21T14:40:00.027-04:00

I was browsing our Netflix suggestions and came cross the movie The Missing Lynx on the Instant Watcher. The description was intriguing.

In this animated comedy from Spain, clumsy lynx Felix and his animal pals try to thwart the plans of Noah, a rich man who wants to collect pairs of endangered animals and keep them in a vast ship where they will be safe from extinction. But when Felix, Gus the chameleon, Astarté the hawk and their friends elude capture, Noah hires a professional hunter to track and snare them.

I'm always looking for unique ways to introduce bible stories to the kids. So I set it up on Sunday for the girls to watch. I should go ahead and mention they weren't interested. Funny Girl watched maybe 15 minutes; Dimples only slightly longer. Honestly the movie is boring, hard to follow, and confusing for little kids. I'm not just talking about kids that don't know the bible story, but it's really choppy at the beginning. It starts out with the good news of a baby lynx, but then it's found dead. They cut to a map of pushpins where they replace a red one with a black one. Then it pans out to show a whole lot of black pins. As an adult I got it - the lynx are disappearing. The girls were totally confused. Then they find one lynx and he keeps getting captured over and over. On his last capture the place they take him is like a prison. What?? So the animals want to escape. Meanwhile you found out this guy Noah is trying to get two of each animal and hires a hunter to get them. The prison place is actually to protect the animals. Finally you see that Noah is building a giant ship and he tells the hunter (who's having trouble catching the lynx) that he's going to use someone else to help him with the animals. The hunter sees Noah talking to himself out in the desert and totally makes fun of him.

Anyway, it's 56 minutes into the movie before you find out that there "is a good reason" for Noah putting the animals in a ship full of steel cages. It looks very much like an animal laboratory. It's another 15 minutes before Noah realizes that life isn't worth living without freedom. Duh. So for most of the movie you think Noah is a crazy guy who talks to himself and is capturing animals to put into cages on his ship. Then we find out that he was just misunderstood. He can talk to animals and was locked up because of it. When he got out he used his ability to talk to animals to acquire a fortune. He's gathering endangered animals so he can take them to an island with no humans where they will be safe. He wasn't talking to himself either, just so you know, but he's still not very likable.

Meanwhile the hunter is mad that he can never capture the lynx so he throws Noah in a cage and it's up to the animals to rescue him and themselves, which they do - the end.

I went looking for reviews, but the ones on Amazon seems clueless that this might be a bible story. Netflix pooped out on my while I was trying to read them. Since the kids didn't like it, I'd rate it pretty low. It certainly isn't good, but it might be worth watching if you want to introduce your kids to a more cynical view of Noah's ark.

Find more Secular Thursday bloggers here!

Mindful Monday: Tiny Buddha

2011-04-19T00:03:00.000-04:00

Last week I wrote about how mindfulness brought me back from panicking over life's impermanence. I thought it was interesting to read a very similar post on the Tiny Buddha blog today.

I love every single post on Tiny Buddha, so today I would like to give a shout-out to this beautiful blog. If you haven't already, go check it out.

April 2011: Weeks One and Two

2011-04-15T22:11:00.003-04:00

I think it's technically been three weeks since I updated. The last bit of March we took off, which doesn't mean the learning stopped. For us a week off of school (that's what we call it out of habit) just means that there are less restrictions on electronics and a looser bedtime. It's a lot more radical unschool-y whereas our normal days have no t.v. before 6pm, limited computer/Wii access before chores and reading are done, and a 10pm bedtime. Even with more "entertainment" options the kids mostly do the same things: the girls play or use the computer, Robotson uses GarageBand all day instead of all afternoon, and they all watch more Hannah Montana (blech.)

Finally passed out after a long night
of allergy symptoms.

The first week of April we were all beset by allergies. Robotson has them the worst since he is severely affected by apple pollen. We just happen to have an apple tree on our property too, but at least I know when the tree starts to bloom is when he'll start to have problems. He first developed symptoms last spring, but we didn't know it was the apple tree until later in the fall when he ate an apple and his whole face swelled. It was pretty scary. Fortunately Benedryl helped and we've avoided raw apples ever since. Anyway, I knew the pollen would bother him so I had been looking for Benedryl for weeks. Somehow I completely missed the recall? I was also confused about how to use antihistamines. Some of them are for maintenance and need time to build up in your system to increase their effectiveness. Benedryl works right away. Once we got it all figured out he's been fine, but it was a hard couple of days for him being all itchy and full of mucous. It even got to the girls and I a bit this year. We all had sore throats and sneezy, runny noses. No one felt like doing much of anything last week. It figures that you take one week off and then get sick the next. Oh well. I think we have now seen every single Hannah Montana episode so we should be set for life.

Wait, I'm focusing on what we didn't do for those two weeks. Let me show you what our days looked like.

Twin cousins?

We saw a lot of family. My cousin and his wife came over to kid-sit while B and I saw Cut Copy and Holy Ghost! at the Masquerade. My sister and nephew came by for a rare visit though they live less than 20 minutes away (hint hint.) My cousin came back with his friend to install the flooring in the spare room. Yay! Robotson spent the weekend with Granny and Papa, while the girls and I went down to my parents for a little while. We also did our regular dinner and movie nights at with the Bears and went to a birthday party.

Meanwhile at home the living room was taken over by GeoTrax.

This is how it looked pretty much all week.

Robotson and I got some personal reading done. He finished the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. I read The Hot Zone by Richard Preston. It was terrifying.

Funny Girl and I practiced reading Hop on Pop together. She had the idea to use the LeapFrog Word Builder to help her remember the letter sounds and words from the book.

Dimples and I put together puzzles.

We made homemade pizzas from scratch.

There were some severe storms that knocked out our power for several hours and the Internet for a day. We even had to spend some time in the "tornado closet" under the stairs. The girls slept through the entire thing - from me moving them into the closet, to putting them back in bed. Robotson had his iPod to keep him occupied.

And we played outside. A lot. Well, except for Robotson who hates all things outdoors because of the pollen.

Even though I am supposed to dislike the pollen as much as my son (according to him), I can't help but marvel at how beautiful it looks on flowers. These are all from Mo's garden by the way.

That brings us to this week where we are still working on getting back to bed on time and not begging to watch t.v. all day. Robotson and I started reading The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Perilous Journey. He is begging me to find him some more books like Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I've got a few reserved from the library. One is called Star Jumper: Journal of a Cardboard Genius. Other than lots of reading with the kids it's been a low-key week. Since the flooring is done in the spare room I've been painting the floorboards. I still have to buy, paint, and install the quarter round. Then see about getting all of our Disney lithographs framed. We also need new closet doors and an organizer. It's the project that never ends.

Secular Thursday: God Bless You

2011-04-14T18:53:00.000-04:00

Last week I asked for help finding topics for my Thursday posts and Sadie asked what we teach our kids about religion, and how do we handle holidays? It's a great question and I feel a little silly for not already posting more about it. Sometimes it's hard for me to see the secular parts of our lives. It's not that these things don't come up, but we were never religious and there has never been a "hole" to fill. For a while I tried to teach Robotson about world religions, but he wasn't interested; I let it go. These days the learning around here comes up naturally as something piques someone's interest, and we take it from there.

But that's not really a very interesting or in depth answer. Besides Sadie's question got me thinking a little more about how religion turns up in our lives on a daily basis. So I'll try to pay more attention to those times and write from there. Here's a little something that happened today in the van.

Someone sneezed. Most people say "god bless you", though we've been saying "gesundheit" for a while now. Funny Girl asked me what god bless you means. I replied that it meant to wish someone good health. That's closer to the definition of gesundheit, but she's only five. I think it might be a little early to introduce plagues and needing to be blessed to avoid getting sick. It's also probably not a good idea to mention evil spirits needing to be kept away or sneezing one's soul out for the devil to grab. Sheesh. It's supposed to be polite to respond to someone's sneeze. Why it morphed into manners is just sort of weird and slightly annoying now that I think about it. We don't bless people for coughing, having a runny nose, or running a fever. It's a silly superstition and probably shouldn't be required etiquette.

Apparently responding to a sneeze is fairly common around the world. In most cases you wish someone good health, a long life, or a blessing. The Chinese handle it best in my opinion. The sneezer says "Excuse me." No response is required. I know many atheists refuse to acknowledge sneezes. Unfortunately it will probably be seen as impolite not to respond, so we'll stick with gesundheit. As the kids get older though it might be interesting to go into a deeper discussion of why wish health or blessings after a sneeze, and to hear what they think.

Thanks for the question Sadie. I know I didn't really answer your question with this post, but I hope future posts will give a little more insight into that part of our life as it comes up. I've already got a draft for next week :)

There are more Secular Thursday bloggers too! Don't forget to check them out.

Secular Thursday: Need Inspiration

2011-04-07T22:37:00.000-04:00

These secular Thursday posts are the hardest for me to write. What more is there to say about homeschooling without religion? It's just what we do. I guess if we had no support and got a lot of grief I'd have plenty to say. I want to keep a presence in this weekly posting though because I know there are many who need that support. Maybe I need to just ask if there is anything you want me to write about? I can't pretend to be an expert on parenting, homeschooling, or raising kids without religion, but I'm am living the dream. So if there is some aspect of this that you all want to know more about, let me know. You can comment or email me privately (link on the left side there.)

Otherwise, I'll just try to write when I feel particularly inspired and skip it when I don't.

Don't forget to visit the other Secular Thursday bloggers.

Mindful Monday: Mindful Existence

2011-04-04T23:40:00.001-04:00

Being 'Mindful' Can Neutralize Fears of Death and Dying

I got to practice this one over the weekend. Normally I avoid tearjerker movies like the plague. I don't want my fiction to be sad because real life is sad. If it want sad all I have to do is turn on the news. I like typical chick-flicks, romantic comedies with happy endings. I like other types of movies, but for the most part at the end of the day when I want to turn my brain off it's not going to by crying myself to sleep.

Spoilers...stop reading if you don't want to find out about the movie Listen to Your Heart.

Saturday night I watched Listen to Your Heart through Netflix mistakenly thinking it was about a deaf girl getting out from underneath her domineering mother. It was. But it was also about falling in love with a guy who ends up with terminal brain cancer. It was a beautiful story and the first half was so great. The second half was like a giant banner waving "Life isn't fair!" Not my cup of tea. I couldn't sleep afterwards and spent the next couple of hours tossing and turning or crying in the living room. My mind went from the what ifs of my own life and family, to the realization that no matter what - I am going to die someday!

I freaked out for a while, but eventually I was able to breathe until I was calm, then face the reality that yes I am going to die someday, but right now I am alive. My kids were alive and safe. Everyone I knew was safe to the best of my knowledge. There was no reason to stay up all night wondering what would happen tomorrow. With that I was able to fall asleep. And in the morning everything seemed o.k. again.